A former Olympian and World Champion and current TV expert lives in the area where I lived until I was in my 20s. I refereed his son a number of times in the sport this guy was world class in. But like his son was a child playing for fun. This man could not stop shouting at me from the stands and tried to argue with me every single time, one time physically blocking me from going to my changing room. It’s still wild to me how this man, who has seen everything and both played and coached at the biggest stages the sport has to offer, acted like a random ref decision in a game between 9 year olds was going to change the fate of world.

(Also, he was very wrong most of the time. Turns out, professional athletes often do not have a clue about the rules of their sport)

One time I boarded the wrong plane at the airport(at least I made it to the airport that time) and wound up in new york. Security was loose this was before 9/11 because I got to go up on the observation deck of the 9/11 building. I stayed at that godawful plaza hotel in manhattan because it was the first place I called that would take my credit card. I got a little turned around looking for the lobby and asked some fat fuck where the lobby was. When I say this fat fuck smelled like shit, I mean this fat fuck smelled like shit. Like he just finished a swimming tour of Willy Wonka’s Shit Factory. I would say he smelled like he was swimming in the East River but physical activity and him clearly did not cross paths. If you’ve ever seen a person who can ride a bike or walk a dog, this man was the opposite.

Anyways the fat sack of shit was quick to tell me he was the owner of the hotel and after ten minutes of him talking to himself about himself the directions he gave me to get to the lobby sent me to the nearest mcdonald’s. The bellhop kept asking me for gum and the concierge looked like somebody from Transylvania. The place was fucking weird and I wouldn’t say the owner is or was all that famous but I can say he was a huge fucking idiot who smelled like fresh warm shit.

I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly

Not exactly a 1:1 interaction but I was really pissed off as to just how late Prince Charles (now offically named King Prince Charles) was to the comissioning of the UK’s new big aircraft carrier, HMS Prince of Wales (also his official title as the heir at the time). Don’t ask why I was there lol, I’m not in the military, long story.

I am absolutely not a fan of the monarchy, I’m a staunch republican, so I was already a bit annoyed by this part of it. So there we are stuffed into these really uncomfortable tiered seating things which were set up inside the main hanger space. Its warm, uncomfortable, and the formal dress code isn’t helping matters.
After sitting there for ages the ceremony starts, speeches from the captain and other higher-ups in the admiralty, music from the Royal Marine brass band, things are ok though.

We were rapidly approaching the bit where royal Big Ears is meant do his bit and theres no sign of him yet. Cue what felt like 2 hours of stalling, the band was running out of material, some filler speeches and stories… we can’t leave the seats because its clear he could turn up at any second and they also don’t want the public wandering around their new aircraft carrier. The chatter and noises of discontent were getting louder, people having to awkwardly shimmy in front of the whole audience to beg to be taken to the heads to relieve themselves…

Finally he turns up, says some superficial crap like he actually gives a shit, the actual commissioning ceremony happens and then he just buggers off again. Then we have to go through with the rest of the programme… just kill me now.

So yeah, not sure what his excuse was, its a massive aircraft carrier in a naval base, not exactly a last second arrangement but apparently it was justified to just turn up last second and still be late, screw everyone else’s time. Fuck the King.

Oh and not mine or bad but on the theme, my mother once shook hands and spoke to confirmed nonce (former Prince) Andrew. She’s no longer proud of that moment.

I once saw Sam Elliot walking out of a Best Buy and holding a large pack of AA batteries, it was awful.

Fucking Sam Donaldson got me kicked out of first class on a flight from LA when I was 14.

Peter Berg snubbed me at a going away party for a mutual friend, but to be fair I was drunk and 16. His wife was really sweet though.

Ran lights for Bill Cosby twice and while his rider asked for lots of catering and satellite coverage of the NCAA finals, he never said a word to crew and only spent 5 min in the green room before / after his set before leaving for the hotel.

They aren’t “famous” but running sound for body building competitions gets you in the company of a lot of shitty prima donnas who are oiled up, stink of menthol, and go into roid rage at the drop of a hat.

Does watching the movie Gigli count?