Nobody gets out alive; eat that jar of mayo

There is this Yiddish joke I heard somewhere, it went like this:

Guy is drafted to WW1, and is super scared. His best friend tried to console him:

"Listen, when you get to the draft office, there are two options: unfit or able. Unfit is good! But let’s say you get able.

Then there are two options again: staff or troops. Staff is good! But let’s say you get troops.

Then there are two options: rear or front. Rear is good! But let’s say you get front.

Then there are two options: you make it through or you get hit. Making it through is good! But say you get hit.

Then there are two options: you get wounded and go home, or you get a mortal hit. Wounded and going home is good!

And to be frank, in the other case, you won’t be able to worry anyway…"

Sometimes that’s the only silver lining

I’ve heard of ominous positivity. Like “you will get through this no matter what”