A colt 45 and two zigzags. Cause baby that’s all we need
Can you grab me some democracy while you’re out?
Can I get a “fuck you” to these bitches from all of my niggas who don’t love hoes? They get no dough.
Four whole chickens and a Coke.
My family’s usual response to this is: “a bag of 100 USD bills”.
I’m annoyed just repeating it.
can you clean the gutters and take out the trash?
A bagel.
Chive cream cheese or regular?
Black licorice.
Always bagel.
Go pee for me, I don’t want to get out of bed
Sometimes a dimensional drain installed into the bladder - something that burrows through a higher dimension and into a sanitary disposal somewhere else - would be nice.
I mean, I don’t drink like a fish or anything, but full bladders can be more abruptly insistent than most anything else.
I used to live (alone, unsurprisingly) in a house with a games room in the attic. The only toilet was on the ground floor. So I ran a hosepipe all the way through the house so I didn’t have to trapse down two flights of stairs to pee. Thinking back, I both admire and loathe the person I used to be.
That’s… disgustingly impressive.
As a guy I would gladly high-five you for coming up with such a creatively practical solution, but you’re gonna have to wash your hands, first. Thoroughly.
Oh, it’s okay, I kept a rag next to the funnel. And I used a funnel. Belt and braces, you see?
Could you swing by the pharmacy and pick up my wife’s meds for me?
Thanks.
Edit: there shouldn’t be a co-pay, but if there is let me know and I’ll send you the cash.
Ayo I gotchu
Blinker fluid for my car
Front or rear?
Slushie pls! Its 99¢ day for an extra large
A rollback to Harambe please. It was the first domino
Yeah can you get me a box of blowjobs?
6 pack of beer, snus (tobacco, not the white nicotine pouch shit) and salted peanuts. Buy something for yourself too, on me.
