That is vanity disguised as manners. It is one thing to show respect to present company. But to teach people that “no” means “make me take it”… that is a dangerous game.
Yes, but the problem is that it’s ingrained in culture, and most people are raised with that attitude, so if you raise your kid to act differently, you’re setting them up to be rude in the perception of others.
I feel like discussing what consent is with your children is probably a must do, at some point, no matter what.
I don’t like the polite refusal custom, and call it out in good company, but it’s similar to tipping - it’s so ingrained in cultures that it’s hard to root out, and any attempts to do so can hurt good people.
If we set the example in daily life, that conversation can be a short one. For example, if you ask your partner to take out the trash instead of telling them to do it, that is one less source of cognitive dissonance, one less scenario that causes the child to say, “Why does consent matter here, but not there.”
Tbf in some cultures its rude not to initially decline and say, “no its too much”, or imply your not worthy of that much.
That is vanity disguised as manners. It is one thing to show respect to present company. But to teach people that “no” means “make me take it”… that is a dangerous game.
Yes, but the problem is that it’s ingrained in culture, and most people are raised with that attitude, so if you raise your kid to act differently, you’re setting them up to be rude in the perception of others.
True, just be aware that teaching the “polite refusal” custom may bring the “what is consent” discussion closer to necessity.
I feel like discussing what consent is with your children is probably a must do, at some point, no matter what.
I don’t like the polite refusal custom, and call it out in good company, but it’s similar to tipping - it’s so ingrained in cultures that it’s hard to root out, and any attempts to do so can hurt good people.
If we set the example in daily life, that conversation can be a short one. For example, if you ask your partner to take out the trash instead of telling them to do it, that is one less source of cognitive dissonance, one less scenario that causes the child to say, “Why does consent matter here, but not there.”