I’ve noticed that I often struggle to express what I actually mean during discussions.
Sometimes my main point gets lost because I phrase it poorly, use a weak example, or realize later that I misunderstood what the other person was saying. I often leave conversations thinking, “That wasn’t what I was trying to say.” or “I am not being taken serious.”
For those of you who used to have this problem:
How did you get better at expressing your thoughts? Did you practice in a specific way? How do you make sure you’re responding to someone’s actual point instead of what you think they mean? Or is it really just keeping your mouth shut if you aren’t knowledgeable about something.
It has gotten to the point that I find myself just not wanting to jump into the discussion, because I feel like that it’s more about who is right , than understanding and being understood.
I’d love to hear any advice or habits that helped you become a clearer communicator. Book recommendations are also welcome.
Lemmy doens’t have Social Skills community(that i can find) or anything so sorry for posting this in AskLemmy.
Reflections so far:
Be curious. Socratic method; phrase your statements as questions. It helps soften your dialogue quite a bit and makes the conversation a quest for discovery.
Try to formulate things simple. The simpler u can explain something, the better u understand it and the less words to be confused about for both parties.
Rhetorical Triangle: Ethos, Pathos and Logos
Write more. It forces u to think critical about things. And gives u the opportunity to reflect on your own opinions.
Don’t take yourself, or other people too serious.
It’s not necessarily your problem. Especially on the internet.
Don’t let the opinions of strangers who are often willfully and ignorantly interpreting you dictate what you mean.
If you have certain discussions you want to be a part of, well read up on that topic, get informed. And choose sources, which, as you say, are interested in understanding things, rather than proving a point or ‘winning’.
They exist. But boy oh boy is most of the info out there some weird petty dummy who just wants to beat up on anyone else who has a different opinion. And most often this is the type of person you will encounter in discussions, both IRL and on the internet, and the best response to those people is to ignore them and focus your energy on folks who want to engage you in the way you want to be engaged.