My guy friend and I are pretty close even when we met 2 years ago. We met in animation class for college. We talked about our hobbies and interests, helped each other with assignments, and we had the same classes for the next 2 semesters. We became friends pretty quickly.
He asked me about my lore/my life and I was able to be vulnerable with him the more I got to know him. He’s a safe and chill person to be with. I was able to trust him with my secrets. That’s what made our bond so special–he’s been there for me and I’m there for him too.
I developed feelings for him. I confessed and got turned down. We’re still very close friends and would help each other out.
Thanks for sharing! How do you cope with being turned down? Did something change for you?
I got sad and disappointed when he rejected me, so I cried for a day, then got my shit together and remembering what I’m worth for the next few days after that. I just kept in mind that it’s his choice and I was trying to logic my way out of it. Because in reality, he works a lot (he helps pay majority of his share of the rent for his family), takes care of his ill grandmother everyday, and goes to university full time. So even if we did date, he would struggle to find the time to priorize me. His work/life balance isn’t the best.
Having a crush on someone makes me idealize them, ignoring their flaws/red flags even when I know they’re not this “perfect” person (nobody is perfect ya know?). Though, I wanted to give dating another shot.
What changed was my relationship with myself. I started asking myself “do I even want a relationship right now?” “do I have the emotional capacity to handle my own emotions and another person’s emotions too?”, “Am I just lonely?” and just being honest. The more I re-evaluate, the more I realized I need a lot of time to be on my own. I began to question why dating is a thing, what’s the point, what I wanted out of life, and if marriage is something I want for my own life. Because relationships aren’t the only thing in life that matters and it shouldn’t be the only thing someone revolves their life around.
I met him when I was still healing from my breakup. He became a safe space for me and I latched onto him quickly. My brain wasn’t thinking very clearly that year. 😭. He has the qualities I look for in a boyfriend (caring, respectful, supportive, thoughtful, empathetic), but being a good person doesn’t necessarily equate to being a good partner.
I’m sorry you had to go through this. But it sounds like you have grown from the experience.
Sure, relationships aren’t the only thing in life that matters. But they are one of the most important parts if not the most important. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships but relationships in general. In the end, we humans are social creatures. My life changed a lot, when I realized the importance of connection. But maybe I am just projecting here.
Most of us met in elementary school, adding people little by little, as we got older. I think we’re special because of our shared history and I think each of us has at least one other person that shares a hobby or at the very least, has knowledge on that subject. I’m not sure if we’ve evolved, I still view them like when we were younger, except we don’t see each other as often as we used to due to having families, which is fine and to be expected. Honestly, I think our wives talk to each other much more often than the hubbies do.