I can try that. I don’t have a lot of hope for myself but I appreciate your advice and I’ll give it my best.

Thank you for the kind advice. I will give it a try.

At one point I bought CBT for Dummies but I didn’t get very far. I’m trying to be introspective and examine why I feel this way, but I just end up in a spiral.

My therapist is pretty good, I think. I’ve had others in the past that took a more active approach, gave me more coaching, and stuff like that. This one does a lot more just listening and pointing things out. It’s definitely possible there is one out there I would work better with, but we have a good rapport and I don’t want to switch.

I think based on past experiences I have a major fear of abandonment, and I see every ending as being abandoned. I also have little to no confidence in my ability to meet anyone new. I feel like each time it happens that was my last chance.

I do journal, but very infrequently. All the happy memories that came to mind were all of girls that eventually lead to heartache. It’s hard to separate them when they’re so tied together.

I can try to do something over the next few days. But sometimes it’s the evening weekends that get really hard. When you somehow managed to scrape your way through work but there’s nothing else to do. I used to drink probably too much. But even when I wasn’t in the middle of something like this it had more to do with the damn boredom. Right now I’m actually too depressed to drink.

I had amazing friends growing up. Now I feel like I have no friends at all. I just joke that I know a lot of people who would be offended if they heard me say that. The truth is I still have them but they all got married and had lives and kids. I rarely hear from them and see them even less frequently. Sometimes I feel like I just got left behind.

I’m struggling to think of any happy memories at the moment that aren’t associated with negative memories later on. That’s not to say I don’t have any happy memories. I’m sure I have many. I’m just not in the headspace to find them.

That’s true about meeting human needs. I have the same struggles trying to meet people on dating apps when I’m like this too, but I think what you said is still a strong point.

Anxiety/depression and ADHD diagnosis. Since I was in middle school.

“Always do the opposite of what Bart says.”