Lemmino has a great video on this.

To add: if pen and paper aren’t your thing you can create computer art with free programs like Blender. Or you can use something like FreeCAD to design objects that are easier bring into the real world via 3D printing or other machines available at most makerspaces (though those are materials and makerspaces will cost something).

I recently lost a close friend also. It’s hard to fathom how life can go on after tragedy, but it flows on all around you. Just people going about their day unaware of the immense vacuum where there was once joy and warmth and comfort. It’s a terrible experience, I’m so sorry for your loss.