“Why would you even get into bestiality?” he asked. “We’re not into bestiality,” said Patel.
In a further exchange, Patel explained to Senator John Kennedy, the Louisiana Republican, that previously, regulations had barred anyone who engaged in bestiality “on either side of it.”
“Either side of what, the bestiality?” asked Kennedy. “So you disqualified the animal?”
“We have great canines, but we’re not going to disqualify them,” said Patel.
In this day and age of robotics and AI, you could just fuck a robot dog and there’s nothing the FBI, CIA, NSA, DHS, or NASA could say.
You could fuck a robot dog in the middle of the Oval Office and there isn’t a god damned thing the president could do about it, because it’s not a real dog.
Sure, it looks like a real dog, it is programmed to sound like it’s being hurt, but it’s only a program.
Please everyone watch this educational video on how to stop bestiality dead in its tracks:
Those great canines were asking for it…/s
It’s a requirement now!
“We have great canines, but we’re not going to disqualify them,” said Patel.
Jesus, is this what even qualifies as a distraction now? If gas prices keep going up Kash may end up sucking off a llama in front of Congress.
I would feel sorry and embarrassed for the llama.
This hasn’t been in the news (I’ve seldom seen this in reputable places other than Wired), so it’s an ineffective distraction if so.
Imagine his eyeballs! I would feel really sorry for the llama.
deleted by creator
It kind of looks like an X with stars.
This is the type of shit that would be written for a South Park episode.
South America get it right patriot
Fuck, these people are weird.
Its hard to understand why they would do this. Some high muckety muck must have hit bestiality (I’m sure they prefer “zoophilia”) on their polygraph, or else its a opener/stage setter to ease a broader category of crimes, probably pedophilia and rape.
But no one can claim the GOP doesn’t love animals anymore. A Lot. Patels claim that this is aimed at protecting sexual assault vicitims is nonsensical. They could carve out a law specifically for that use case but they didnt. And the FBI pushing a law specifically for an exceedingly rare outcome for victims is out of pattern. Its not about victims, its to protect perpetrators-- as is usual for republicans in the US.
Its hard to understand why they would do this. Some high muckety muck must have hit bestiality (I’m sure they prefer “zoophilia”) on their polygraph
Wasn’t one of the potential identities of the mysterious “Bubba” that Trump was rumored to have blown a horse?
As weird as it sounds, I assumed there was some logic to this, and there was at least one case where someone had been the victim of sexual abuse and was forced to engage in bestiality. Then someone with half a brain realised that such a victim had no repulsive proclivities, so shouldn’t be excluded as a candidate on that basis.
The mere mention of the topic encourages irrational discourse.
They could have let in those people by adding the word “willingly”. They changed this rule to start letting in the more violent people they’ll need for the next stage of the reich.
The following post didn’t make much sense until I saw this one further down the feed.
Thanks, OP, for keeping me sufficiently aware of the insanity to understand the memes.
but they are only inside you on friday night because thats date night.
Why do I get the impression some second rate LLM scraped references to "fucking the dog’ and turned it into official FBI policy?
I think it’s really just as simple as Kash Patel likes doggie dicks. It’s not rocket science.
I think it’s really just as simple as Kash Patel likes doggie dicks. It’s not red rocket science.
FTFY
“Why would you even get into bestiality?” he asked. “We’re not into bestiality,” said Patel.
In a further exchange, Patel explained to Senator John Kennedy, the Louisiana Republican, that previously, regulations had barred anyone who engaged in bestiality “on either side of it.”
“Either side of what, the bestiality?” asked Kennedy. “So you disqualified the animal?”
“We have great canines, but we’re not going to disqualify them,” said Patel.
Is this real life or a god damn SNL skit? It reads like an SNL skit.
Scene opens on a group of new recruits wearing FBI uniforms.
Camera pans out, it’s an animal shelter.
Camera pans out further, the man speaking is Kash Patel in a gimp suit.
Here at the “Friends of Beastiality Institute”, we take not asking or telling very seriously, and my thing is definitely bleeeeep*
Scene cuts to disclaimer of no animals being hurt.
Disclaimer ends. As we return to the scene with the recruits, we see Kash zipping up his gimp suit.
“And that, my friends, was consensual.”
Cut to dog wearing a bee suit and smoking a cigarette…
“live from New York, Kash fucks dogs!”
Space Ghost: “So how was it working with Lassie?”
Triumph the Insult Dog: “If by worked with you mean ‘banged up the ass,’ it was great.”
SG: “Whoa. You can say that on TV? Huh, well I, too, once banged a dog up the a-”
technical difficulties message
SG: “Well how was I supposed to know I couldn’t say it?!”
… Moltar appears on-screen
“I thought I recognized you! We both were foced to hench for an obscure Canadian comedy group in 1997! How’s it meltin’, yo?”
those arent exact quotes btw. you can find video of the whole thing. patel explains that his team told him that there have been applicants that were sex trafficked and forced to do some things that might count as sexual acts with animals. apparently that what he meant by being on the other side of beastialty.
Yeah the actual reasoning given is, reasonable. Assuming they’re not lying (which is a massive ask for this Admin). And they’re communication about it is horrendous, but that’s to be expected from these dipshits. They’re not in these positions because they’re actually good at their job.
If he was telling the truth, they would have changed the rule by adding the word “willingly”. However, he was just lying to cover for the fact that they want to allow abusers of animals and women into the FBI.
It is an exact quote. https://x.com/atrupar/status/2099864817901125967 (a clip of the hearing, which I’m sure you’ve set up to redirect to your preferred Nitter instance)
you’re talking about a different part of the oversight hearing the article also covers
The lunatics have taken over the asylum long ago.
I wonder if they are looking at furries.
are those the reptiles i heard so much about?
Or an escalation from the Epstein files. They have gotten all the underage rape they want, now they want to normalize beastiality.
excellent point. A tie in with the epstein files would explain this. If they were fucking kids at an industrial scale I bet they had animals too. So some rich bastards fucked some animals and now they want that decriminalized. Finally this makes sense.
When I first herd about the files, this was my exact thought. Some of the videos Ive been subjected to as an admin of furry stuff… Ain’t no regular person got the funds to support that bad behavior.
There are ghetto (KY trailer park dog sex rings) cases, but anything larger than a dog… There is an industry. That’s why rich people go to horse races, they are shopping.
They like dogs because the oldest ones are only 15.
This has become more culture war bullshit. People don’t genuinely care except that it’s a political football. Like, I’m sure if they stopped and thought about it, they could work up some tears, but that’s just not the part of their brain that is activated 24/7.
