I have a huge crush on this guy. He’s one of the closest new friends I’ve made since moving abroad. Last night, sometime after midnight, I was bored and couldn’t sleep, so I called him. He was asleep when he picked up. I asked if he wanted to come over, and surprisingly, he said yes.
We played Baldur’s Gate 3, watched YouTube, listened to music, snacked, and chatted until 5 a.m. Poor guy couldn’t even stay over and had stuff to do early in the morning, so he barely got any sleep. I was honestly impressed by how willing he was to spend the night with me.
Would it be safe to assume that he likes me too?
You need to invite him over again to NOT play videogames.
Yes he came over because he thought you wanted more than an platonic hangout. If you’re interested in him you should probably tell him that because he for sure is now under the assumption you aren’t into him
I have a different take, as a woman who has not once in my life called a man at “u up?” hours, woken him from a dead slumber with an offer to come over, and then kept him up until 5 am playing video games and chatting:
In any culture that does not have strict religious guidelines, the interpretation would be that you booty called him. He woke up and came over because it seemed like you were offering a booty call. He was nice about it, but he told you he had things to do in the morning, and what you asked of him was an actual disruption to his day. He may like you, but what you did was inconsiderate.
If he is a good guy worthy of good relationships, what you did last night may well be unworthy of him. People are not play things to be called up and used to alleviate insomnia, especially when they make it known they have responsibilities the next day (something I’m sure would not have come up unless he was hinting at wanting to sleep) and you are content to have them stay up all night entertaining you instead.
In my mind, this goes one of two ways. Either he is happy to have the attention and still wants to pursue something with you, or you’ve just given him an ick. Whichever it is, that’s really for him to find out and relay to you, but I would apologize for keeping him up regardless, because I would’ve been annoyed in his place.
My response as a man, I agree that was 100% supposed to be a booty call.
But I wouldn’t consider it inconsiderate, if the things he had to do the next day were that important he wouldn’t have come over whether it was sex or not. I wouldn’t take this miss personally, but I wouldn’t expect a second totally platonic overnight hangout sesh if I was OP either lol.
I guess I mean inconsiderate as in OP did not consider the optics or have the situational awareness to parse the difference between the expectation she(?) set through her actions and the reality that came after?
But I agree with you, I don’t really think this will be a repeat situation. I’m more inclined to believe that if there was a potential romance going there this might’ve killed it.
Never make assumptions, if you like him, tell him and be clear about it.
That said, yes, he very probably does like you. Good luck!
If it was me yeah. But im loathe to not get good sleep. hanging out playing video games and chatting and such is not a thing I would not like to spend time doing though. Im heterosexual and I would spend a night like that with a guy friend if I could sleep the next day.
Don’t assume and tell him. Always be explicit.
Yes highly likely he likes you. Pretty sure he thought it was a booty call. I’m a guy and would never skip sleep on a workday for a platonic friend unless it some sort of emergency or crisis.
Have you considered that he might be Canadian?
Yes.
I mean, if I could night drive I’d personally do it for a friend, but that’s because of my own life, I don’t think most people would do that for someone they weren’t romantically interested in.
Also him not pressuring you for sex when you called him over late at night, and he probably did think this was a sex thing, is an obnoxiously good sign. It’s probably worth at least bringing up, at least once he’s gotten a full night’s sleep :P
Definitely. And that he came over and didn’t pressure you into something as his reward is a massive green flag.
His reward was feeling nice for being requested as a partner in need.
I’d feel nice if somebody for once called me to chill around.My current ratio is (sadly) >50:1 with my friend (we are both on the spectrum so I won’t throw shade but it’s still upsetting me a bit.
(And yes, I already communicated my problem with it)God, that’s a depressingly low bar.
As someone with literally zero experience here even I can tell: Yes.
Of course not.
Everybody likes to be awakened to go entertain someone all night long and get sleep deprived for the things we actually had to do in the morning.
/S
Wish you well on your blossoming relationship, love birds! 😊
“Maybe she’s from Canada…” 🤣
He definitely likes you and it’s 50/50 whether he thought your midnight call was a booty call. Get you some girl.
But also wasn’t a dick about it not being a booty call
To be absolutely clear, he definitely thought it was a booty call, and wasn’t a dick about it when it wasn’t, even though OP should absolutely have known it looked like a booty call.
And frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t hang out with her again after that
It’s an incredibly low bar not to coerce someone into sex (he passed), but it’s also an incredibly low bar to respect work schedules and appropriate hours (op failed).
