So I got feeling for a woman that I share a hobby with and I run into her fairly regularly, she also surprises and impresses me.
She probably knows I have feelings because I said I care about her over text (out of legitimate concern). Now I’m catching myself laughing at the things she says and I actually asked her to calm down because I was laughing at her and another person going at it while im high on an edible in the courthouse.
Like I haven’t pursue a relationship. She has a boyfriend and I’m learning healthy relationships (I used to be more antisocial).
I do feel like I come off as a friend,but I feel like women know mens feelings
Stop wondering, that is a hell of an assumption to even consider, and if you keep that thought active in your head, you risk making a decision that not only blows up in your face but also creating a huge mess that affects many around you.
Is speculation an assumption? You make it sound bad that I’m guessing something based on related comments in the past.
Am I just not supposed to think of her as polyamorous?
Correct.
Look, it is simple, her current personal relationship is none of your business, and by speculating and allowing yourself to assign the label “polyamorous” to her, you involve yourself in her relationship, you also start building a mental version of her that is detached from reality if you let it go far enough.
This will cause you to act irrationally and increase the heartache once the inevitable blow up happens.
Yeah I legitimately don’t care about her relationship with her boyfriend outside of it presumably being an important relationship to her. To me, it’s more important that I respect any boundaries that she puts up even if they’re boundaries that protect her relationship.
Even if she hates me I’d still respect her. I can’t treat her worse than a stranger just she doesn’t like me
I know where this type of thinking leads to. Please listen to the other commenter. Save yourself the trouble and anguish. I wish I had someone like them offering this advice when I needed it. I fucked up a perfectly good friendship and I don’t wish the same for you.
Do you not love your friends?
I feel like I should go all in on love even though I hesitate. I don’t mean love between two people of opposite genders, I should mean love between friends with other men
Sure, the same way I love my sisters.
If going all in means trying to initiate a relationship with someone who’s already in a relationship then you’re asking for trouble.
Out of context, it sounds like you’re in a relationship with your sister.
I don’t want to be like “I’m taking it slow”, but we have mutual goals and our own lives. So far I’ve been using the feelings to motivate me to know her better. Full on relationship seems too far into the future if it were to ever happen.
I’m not going to reply to this thread any further but I will leave you with this: You’re dillusional. Speaking from experience. I don’t say that to mean, I say that because you need to hear it. If you act on your feelings, you will very likely hurt both yourself and her. This won’t lead to any positive relationship.
Seems like you’re afraid of love or afraid you won’t respect boundaries.
Plus everyone’s weird about giving me advice when the question is if women can pick up on feelings men have. I’m thinking she knows but doesn’t care