Again, I downplay it. If I get a massive bonus for Christmas and am asked what I got by a friend I’d said “yeah, I got a bit extra this year” or something. Not “I’m fucking rolling in it, bitches!” if I know they’re struggling. Just an example…
I think there’s a big difference between that and doing it when it’s about a person. I’d imagine the conversation was something like “My husband can’t cook at all, how’s yours?” and she responded that he’s great while the other women agreed that their husbands were awful. Would you instead make your husband sound worse than he is just to fit in with the group? How would you feel about it if it got back to him that you’d said that? Or, conversely, how would you feel about it if you found out that your SO was bad-mouthing you to their friends behind your back just to fit in?
I know for me, if I found out that my wife was complimenting something I did to her friends, that would make my day; if I found out she was downplaying something I thought I did well, it would make me feel pretty awful.
And in that same vein hearing that there are good partners is important for people with bad ones. Some people think that they can’t get a partner that’s good (often assuming all people of a gender or social role are similar in some vein) and by countering that narrative you can help friends find happiness.
One woman I play d&d with is given a few hours every week or two to go out and play a game with friends while her husband watches the kids. Someone whose husband either doesn’t or can’t competently watch their kids may need to hear that some dads are more than capable of having a few hours alone with an infant and toddler so their wife can maintain a social life outside of just parent friends.
LOL that would be hilarious in my friend circle. Thanks for being so sincere but that kind of response would have us rolling. And a couple of Fuck you’s thrown in at the same time.
If they spent 5 minutes stating all the issues they’re having and then asked about my relationship - I wouldn’t look at them like an alien and start talking about great my partner is.
I would probably mention something inoffensive that annoyed me or talk about something going to happen (“We’re headed to LA in a few weeks”) just to change the subject. I certainly wouldn’t start stating all the great things about my partner because that’s just social incompetence in that context.
I mean you’re 100% right. Downvoters are just haters. This comic isn’t about the husband making her a social pariah through competence, it’s that she’s bad at socializing and reading the room.
Mostly the women complaining are just looking at having their feelings validated, you don’t need to share your own story to do that. If you’re asked to share a story you pick one that fits the theme. That’s just basic socializing.
I mean it’s also just a comic. Like it’s supposed to be a joke so it’s going to take liberties, but this conversation about it is weird lol.
Also venting is healthy… People forget that your spouse is also your roommate and it’s normal to have things you dislike about your roommate. Why wouldn’t it be normal to have things you don’t like about your spouse?
This is just immediately obvious to 99% of adults in long term relationships. There’s something about critically online 20-somethings that think disliking anything about your spouse makes you an asshole
![Having a good partner [PizzaCake]](https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/3c29d75b-f0f5-4c4b-ad7a-5dd4bfeb0f06.webp){kind=link}
Er, and if your friend asked you directly how that specific thing was going for you, how would you handle that?
Again, I downplay it. If I get a massive bonus for Christmas and am asked what I got by a friend I’d said “yeah, I got a bit extra this year” or something. Not “I’m fucking rolling in it, bitches!” if I know they’re struggling. Just an example…
I think there’s a big difference between that and doing it when it’s about a person. I’d imagine the conversation was something like “My husband can’t cook at all, how’s yours?” and she responded that he’s great while the other women agreed that their husbands were awful. Would you instead make your husband sound worse than he is just to fit in with the group? How would you feel about it if it got back to him that you’d said that? Or, conversely, how would you feel about it if you found out that your SO was bad-mouthing you to their friends behind your back just to fit in?
I know for me, if I found out that my wife was complimenting something I did to her friends, that would make my day; if I found out she was downplaying something I thought I did well, it would make me feel pretty awful.
And in that same vein hearing that there are good partners is important for people with bad ones. Some people think that they can’t get a partner that’s good (often assuming all people of a gender or social role are similar in some vein) and by countering that narrative you can help friends find happiness.
One woman I play d&d with is given a few hours every week or two to go out and play a game with friends while her husband watches the kids. Someone whose husband either doesn’t or can’t competently watch their kids may need to hear that some dads are more than capable of having a few hours alone with an infant and toddler so their wife can maintain a social life outside of just parent friends.
LOL that would be hilarious in my friend circle. Thanks for being so sincere but that kind of response would have us rolling. And a couple of Fuck you’s thrown in at the same time.
If they spent 5 minutes stating all the issues they’re having and then asked about my relationship - I wouldn’t look at them like an alien and start talking about great my partner is.
I would probably mention something inoffensive that annoyed me or talk about something going to happen (“We’re headed to LA in a few weeks”) just to change the subject. I certainly wouldn’t start stating all the great things about my partner because that’s just social incompetence in that context.
I mean you’re 100% right. Downvoters are just haters. This comic isn’t about the husband making her a social pariah through competence, it’s that she’s bad at socializing and reading the room.
Mostly the women complaining are just looking at having their feelings validated, you don’t need to share your own story to do that. If you’re asked to share a story you pick one that fits the theme. That’s just basic socializing.
I mean it’s also just a comic. Like it’s supposed to be a joke so it’s going to take liberties, but this conversation about it is weird lol.
Also venting is healthy… People forget that your spouse is also your roommate and it’s normal to have things you dislike about your roommate. Why wouldn’t it be normal to have things you don’t like about your spouse?
This is just immediately obvious to 99% of adults in long term relationships. There’s something about critically online 20-somethings that think disliking anything about your spouse makes you an asshole