I mean, “be nice to them” doesn’t mean “hide who you are and pretend you like everything they say and do when you don’t.” Treating people with respect as individual human beings (“be nice”) really is the starting point to any healthy relationship.
codependency, for example. we cant just stuff everyone’s mental health under one umbrella and assume they know what a simple sentence means without injecting their own meaning from experience into it.
and dont get me started on how distorted ‘respect’ can be for people coming out of traumatic relationships. not everyone on the other side of this conversation is just some disrespectful teenager taking everything for granted and needing to have respect explained to them as a formal way of connecting.
I know we’re kind being pedantic over the wording of a meme, but you absolutely can “go up to people” if the circumstances are right. Context is important, and most people aren’t going to be in the mindset to make friends if they’re outside of a “friend making context” like a bar/party/event so you probably shouldn’t just walk up to people at random. But making a small comment about a shared interest or experience that organically turns into a conversation can legitimately happen anywhere. Just respect people’s boundaries.
That’s not how it works.
If you want to find friends, that is ACTUAL FRIENDS THAT LIKE YOU, be yourself and do things you want to do.
The people you meet in that way will like the actual you.
Don’t try to become a different version of yourself to find friends, and then be surprised when they don’t like the real you.
I mean, “be nice to them” doesn’t mean “hide who you are and pretend you like everything they say and do when you don’t.” Treating people with respect as individual human beings (“be nice”) really is the starting point to any healthy relationship.
for some, yes it is very much like that meaning.
codependency, for example. we cant just stuff everyone’s mental health under one umbrella and assume they know what a simple sentence means without injecting their own meaning from experience into it.
and dont get me started on how distorted ‘respect’ can be for people coming out of traumatic relationships. not everyone on the other side of this conversation is just some disrespectful teenager taking everything for granted and needing to have respect explained to them as a formal way of connecting.
No I mean even “going up to people” is bad.
Let it happen organically, you can’t force lifelong friendships. They happen on vibes.
I know we’re kind being pedantic over the wording of a meme, but you absolutely can “go up to people” if the circumstances are right. Context is important, and most people aren’t going to be in the mindset to make friends if they’re outside of a “friend making context” like a bar/party/event so you probably shouldn’t just walk up to people at random. But making a small comment about a shared interest or experience that organically turns into a conversation can legitimately happen anywhere. Just respect people’s boundaries.
You can for sure force things, and reap the consequences.
Lifelong friendships aren’t made, they happen.