I would say it’s a subjective thing. Looking back at friendships that I had along the way, “deep and meaningful” conversations happen when you’ve sparked with each other enough to let the walls down and just talk about life, the universe without worrying that you sound like you’re high or whatever.

So I don’t think it’s something that can be forced either. It just happens when you meet someone on the same wavelength as you. Easier to come across in real life than social media because no one really talks one on one on social media. Or it’s rare. Reddit style platforms are generally good for the ‘deep’ part but not the connection part.

To me, “deep talk” is discussing things like Susan Sontag’s book On Photography, Thomas Mann’s The Magic Mountain or Wittgenstein’s Tractatus Logico Philosophicus . What you’re describing is actually the curiosity and openness and the willingness to think about things. That’s fantastic.

Learning about math with your budddy

Deep talk rises more from questions and openness to considering different options than it does from having the broadest knowledge of a topic. It’s about asking why instead of accepting the popular narrative about a subject. Following the scientific method doesn’t really make someone’s understanding of a topic deep. Propagating wide sets of data to confirm hypotheses about the natural world is a fairly mechanical process on to itself.

It’s all relative.

My 2 year old was sitting on the toilet and was like “sometimes, you just have to let the poop out”.

Hell yeah.

IMHO, you need two things for “deep talk”: authenticity and vulnerability. You can’t have that level of connection without both individuals bringing those to the table. I, personally, don’t get to that level flippantly–only with people I know and trust can reciprocate. If you try to force it, you get the opposite: shallowness.

“Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handy.

I have one friend who I occasionally get into deep topics with, and it’s usually a gradual thing - talking about light stuff that gets more and more deep.

I will sometimes get into moderately deep discussions on the internet like here on Lemmy. Sometimes people (more on reddit than here) are like “lol tl;dr” and such bullshit, but I try to ignore those people.

So it depends on whether or not you want deep discussions in person with someone you know well, or if just discussion in general is sufficient, in which case, you can be the change you want to see - to some degree. Put it out there and often it’ll be ignored but not always.

space and stuff […] more meaningful

Oh, that’s not a concern. Deep discussion allows us to work through topics with feedback from soneone else, to give and take ideas, just to even be excited deeply about some particular topic. It doesn’t have to have any specific value to be worth it.

Look for the places where discussion happens and if it interests you, jump in. It won’t always work, but sometimes it does.

For that matter, there’s folks like me who are generally chatty (depending on mood and fatigue level). Anything strike your fancy recently? I or someone else might bite. I like discussing lots of random things, though there’s also a lot that just doesn’t draw my attention. heh. But if you wanna give it a go, why not? :)

But also, finding things to submit, or thinking of good discussion questions to submit to this community, can be good conversation starters. Especially if you indicate you’re interested in longer discussions. May not work every time still, but it’s a good method.

What are you interested in?

Sharing your current hyperfocus can work well, but you have to introduce it gradually. Don’t infodump. Introduce the subject a few times superficially until you become known as “the guy who’s into X”. Then as some point you will be asked to explain. That’s your moment!

If you’re more into discussing philosophy and meaning of life, you need to wait for a correct setting. You mentioned it yourself. It usually includes consuming some kind of substances, but even if you don’t it’s that kind of vibe. Put yourself into “afterpaty” situations. When you do some activity (not necessarily a party) and then stay to hang out with the same people.

“Talking deep” means you’re a baritone or bass. 😌

A little bit goes a long way. Try to sprinkle it in randomly instead of sitting down and saying “let’s deep talk for a while” because it feels like an uncomfortable meeting. That kind of talk has to come naturally, or at least feel natural to get in the vibe for it. It’s in the same vein as a stranger blindsiding you with politics, it feels forced and is off-putting if unprepared for it.

I think you’re describing an in depth discussion. What makes the talk deep isn’t having complicated subject matter. It’s when your talking about things you feel to your core.

The deep part is emotional not philosophical.

what

Most people don’t seem very interested in deep philosophical conversations. It distracts them from trying to focus on Love Island.

Look at the fast friends procedure and use those prompts as inspiration for questions.

Facts can be looked up but our experience of them can not. Experience is interesting and deepness is often the feeling of connecting with someone emotionally through sharing that experience.

Be curious about people’s experience. Ask them about theirs.

What does living on a mote of dust floating alone through the great emptiness mean to you? Or my current favorite after basic intros, or even with people I’ve known a long time, “Who are you?”.