Scenario: It’s night, and a man is walking home. He sees ahead there is a woman going in the opposite direction as him. Knowing not to stop or approach her, but his presence makes her nervous. What would help further in this scenario if anything?
I usually just say something like “good evening” and continue walking and you immediately see the other person relax.
Just be polite and ignore them, I guess
As a woman, seriously, just give me the bro nod to acknowledge that I exist but am not that interesting to you and keep walking. If you go out of your way to show that you aren’t a threat now I’m thinking you’re a threat, and if you pointedly ignore me now I’m wondering if you are actually far more interested in me than you should be but you want me not to notice.
Brief eye contact while acknowledging that I exist tells me you aren’t afraid of me remembering your face but that you aren’t being weird and staring or trying to hide from me.
Which nod is that, a down nod or an up nod? I’ve always found up nod threatening tbh
Definitely a down nod. An up nod indicates that you want their attention.
See maybe it’s my part of the world, but I’ve always seen guys use an up nod as sort of a “yo, 'sup fellow human” , and a down nod as a “hello there”. The up nod just has a subtly more chill bro feel to it, but either is fine lol.
Now I need to go poll some guys.
For me an up nod is a greeting towards somebody I know, or at least have seen before.
And a down nod is an respectful acknowledgement towards a stranger.
Idk if anyone else reads them that way though…
I like to have a smile as well. If I give the nod or even a cursory “hello” I try to have my body language say that I in no way expect or need any sort of response or acknowledgement.
I’d go with “Evening” over “Hello”. The latter signals that you’re trying to initiate a conversation, the former is just friendly acknowledgement.
I feel this is exactly what OP and others fear. Trying to optimize the best way to pass someone without being creepy or threatening. It can be maddening. Like, I see your point, but how far down that rabbit hole can we go? It’s exhausting trying to not be weird which is ultimately weird itself.
Does anyone remember that Vine where the guy is filming himself walking at night and says “oh there’s a woman walking alone up there. I better catch up to her and let her know I’m not a threat” as he starts sprinting? Damn vine used to be fun
Rape jokes are so funny
You think that’s a rape joke? The fuck is wrong with you?
The joke is he’s doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing to ease her mind. That’s the joke. Not that he was going to sprint up and assault her. Maybe you need to get off the internet for a while.
Running fast towards a woman at night in order to scare her is the joke.
What do you think a woman is scared of when a strange man runs at her while she’s alone at night?
What’s the punchline?
You think he was really walking behind someone? He wasn’t. It was a joke. Relax.
What’s the punchline?
Why is it funny to make women scared?
The joke is that his actions would have the opposite outcome to what he desired. He wanted to put her mind at ease, instead he’d scare the shit out of her. End of. I don’t see how I’m having to explain this to you.
What would the woman be scared of when a strange man runs at her at night?
Rape and murder.
It’s a rape joke. Say it with your chest instead of trying to deny that you found a misogynistic joke funny and funny enough to retell it.
People can pick up a lot of information from someone they see walking towards them. They can tell by your gait, your body movements, and facial expressions (if you’re close enough to see them) whether you might be a threat or not. As a man in this situation who has never and will never be a threat to women I think that comes across in subtle ways without having to say a word. And since someone I didn’t know at a party came up to me and said I had the kindest face they’ve ever seen, that also works in my favor. When we finally pass each other I always say hello and smile and keep on walking. And if you do see a woman walking towards you don’t do anything stupid like slow down or stop or walk with your head down with your hands in your pockets.
Ignore her like anyone else and let her decide on her own comfort zone walking by you? If some one sees you walking alone, and starts altering their behavior because of your presence, whatever their intention, it sends the message that you have been noticed, you are being watched, they are reacting to your presence, and this indicates some kind of interest or goal in an interaction.
So just keep waking, if she wants to cross the street, just ignore her. Definitely don’t yell “It’s okay I’m not a rapist!” or “I have a girlfriend already!”, just let her do her thing, and you keep doing yours.
Ignore and carry on with your life.
I’m a very large bearded guy with perpetual asshole face. I’ve learned that the best thing to do is whip out my phone and study it assiduously and make sure not even look in her direction while we pass. It works quite well. Everyone who knows me knows that I am definitely not a danger, but I sure as shit look like one.
Don’t try to chat up women at night. There is no scenario of a strange man being interested in me while it’s dark that I’ll be receptive to. It’s impossible for your line to be so good I’ll stop seeing you as dangerous.
If it’s a brightly lit street, or with any other people about, I just mind my own business and walk past her. I usually hug the wall side so she won’t feel boxed in as we pass.
If it’s dimly lit, or at all sketchy, and there’s no one else around I’ll usually cross to the other side of the road. I’d rather walk a little extra distance than have someone be afraid.
Make eye contact, smile widely, and enthusiastically extend my hand so she knows I’m not a threat.
No, I actually just keep walking, not altering my path. Occasionally will give them a nod, just like I’d give anyone.
What kind of question is this? You just act like a normal person and keep walking. Maybe step politely to the side to avoid crashing right into them
Just go where you need to be. Mind your own business, eye ahead so you see where you’re going, and only stop if she trips or drops something. And that’s not an invitation to start chatting - be helpful and go on.
Nothing will help this scenario with just 2 people.
You have to add a third party. The man needs to have a female companion, or a happy friendly dog.
If I walk alone, my 250 pound, six foot talk frame is viewed as a threat. If I take my brother’s highly animated German spotted pointer with me, people approach me and want to pet the puppy.
Mind your business and keep walking. Don’t be weird and stare. Maybe smile, nod your head, or say hello – again if you can be normal. In any case keep walking.
This would be maybe normal here if it’s not too late and it’s a small town or neighborhood. In the major city I live in, I guarantee women prefer to be soundly ignored by any men passing by, since even during daytime you only talk to people you already know or have business with.
If I understand the TikTok trend from a little while back, the solution is to pretend to be a bear.
Take a step or two to the side if able, otherwise just try to get past without eye contact. I worry more about coming up behind them and say good evening to let them know I’m there.
Coming up behind them is the worst. Especially if you’re close. I always wait until there’s a good distance between us before I start walking.
