Why are we conflating emotional intimacy and sex? They aren’t the same thing. The fact that men are often taught that they are the same thing is part of why there is a loneliness epidemic.
because for a horny sad 20 year old they are the only thing that matters in life.
no mount of companionship will satisfy his desperate need to get laid.
See that’s the thing - again, need for sex and need for emotional intimacy aren’t the same thing. The propaganda that says they are is why those boys are both horny and sad - they’re trying to meet two drives at once and failing both because of this misunderstanding. If they were emotionally stable and had community and belongingness, it’d actually be a lot easier for them to get laid and their mental health would also be way better.
have you ever been a 20 year old boy?
do you think any 20 year old boy could conceptualize the difference? part of growing up is learning things.
it’s not propaganda, it’s life. nobody at the age of 20 is stable, because they are still figuring out who they are. when i was 20 i had tons of friends and community and all that horse shit, but nothing mattered other than getting sex, because it felt so goddamn good and nothing else remotely compared to sex. it was the most satisfying experience i’d ever had in life at that point and continued to be so until i was like 30. drugs, food, parties, friends, family, none of that mattered a lick compared to the amazing feelings of sex with a girl that I liked. god, to this day those memories are the most strong, far more strong than my ‘sense of belonging’ at my university… was orgasmic super hard with a hot girl in my bed and laying there with her and spending time with her chilling and banging repeatedly. or studying together and taking fuck breaks every hour or so.
have of the ‘mental health’ crisis is just society pathological normal life, as it tightens the noose. you are not allowed to figure shit out anymore, apparent if you’re 20 and you aren’t full ‘communting a belongingness’ you’re ill and need to be ‘fixed’ or ‘corrected’.
god i’m in my fucking 40s and all i do is get lectured by semi-strangers irl about how ‘problematic’ I am for like owning a cat or other totally normal things. Or reading books. or a million other things people have randomly deecided are ‘wrong and bad’ that 10 years ago nobody cared about.
you sure the issue is the kids, or the fact the adults judging them are all paranoid perfectionist idiots who worship some ideal that doesn’t exist in the real world and to which they are forever comparing themselves and everyone else, in despair? no… that can’t be it… it’s those stupid boys who are dumb. not us!
no kids, don’t want sex, just want ‘belongingness’ that will totally… ‘fufill’ you… lol… why not just medicate them into oblivion if your end goal is this kumbaya passive bullshit ideal? or castrate them! clearly that will fix their ‘problem’.
i don’t know why it’s so hard for people to just admit sex is awesome and not having it sucks and it’s one of the most joyful experiences in human life and it very much will make you feel less lonely when it’s with someone you love and care about. this has become taboo talking point lately though, apparently wanting sex and love makes you an evil person now… instead of being a default component of the human condition.
and rather than talk about it we just insist that ‘community’ will fix it or something… lol
I never said anything about being anti-sex so I think you’re having an argument with someone that isn’t me, hope you feel better.
EXACTLY.
what these statistics hide is that they dont examine QUALITY OF LIFE , NUMBERR OF RELATIONSHIPS, TYPES OOF RELATIONSHIPS, and THE INSANE RATES OF DEATHS OF DESPAIR AMONGSTT MIDDLE AGED AND SENIOR MEN
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10721027/ for this study of Korean middle aged men and women it was found thatt those who met more often wiith theiir friends had higher reported levels of life satisfation . YES for men AND women (and ya ya those who reported being married ALSO had higher reportrd levels of life satisfaction too BUT it sshould be noted that wifdowed people reported even higher levels of life satisfaction than all other adults who were included in the study and currently lived alone)
About 70-80% of all deaths worldwide from ‘Deaths Of Despair’ (so that includes deatha from eatting a terrible diet without exercising and dying from a cardiovascular disease, deaths from drunk driving, deaths from deliberate suicide , deaths frrom accidental drug overdoses, deaths from alcohol poisoning, deaths from fatty liver diseases ) were deaths of men per a year since we’ve started measurinng it. And very much middle aged men.
Also havent some studies come out showing that people have reported having less friends or rsther less people that they talk to and confide in per a weeek or even per a month than ever before?
Your spouse is supposed to be one of your friends , ya I gett that. But if you rely on only your spouse as your only friend ? Youre gonna get into A LOOOT of trouble if they eventually divorce from you.
Edit: We are humans. We NEED friendships. We NEED vulnerability that wont be exploited. We typically suffer from touch starvation after a long enougb time has passed… .
NEVER let anyome make you hate yourself for your genetics or make you hate yourself , or hate your friends even, for you being a human.
Yes, due to a variety of factors, people are more isolated right now than they have ever been throughout history. It’s a real problem and since the underlying factors are systemic, it is going to be very difficult to turn around.
It’s not just if your spouse might divorce you, it’s that putting all your emotional weight on a single person is 1) destined to cause problems, 2) not actually how human beings are supposed to work. We’re highly evolved hypersocial pack predators. Different individuals have different levels of social need, but we do need it. Our brains are wired to hold iirc about 150 people in it for basic socializing - not all of those are going to be deep meaningful friendships, but even the acquaintances help us meet that social need of belonging and acceptance. So many men are essentially taught that their wife is their only emotional outlet, and that showing vulnerability with “the boys” is not acceptable and also possibly dangerous. And then they wonder why they feel unfulfilled - of course they do, you can’t put all that on one person, no matter how close you are with them.
I think the problem is both a QUANTITY AND QUALITY prorblem. Modern Men, and honestly this trend has started to extend ti all people of all genders too, are encountering relationships that have decreased in total number AND in intensity.
Like a person shouldnt be afraid to attempt ro befriend as many locals as possible to increase total number of relationships. but I think that people are becoming more and more isolated or rather more and more hikkikomori like , preferring to rely on online friends and online meetups or just eschewing meetups all together and even relying on fucking AI friends , so befriending numerous people is no longer as easily possible And also attempting to befriending many peoeple will probably get you called as ‘crazy’ by the locals of your city or municipality. This last point is probably more common in small villages and towns where small talk and rumours can circulate easier , get bigger and harder, and become monstrous towards the victim in particular.
BUT THEN there is also the problem of lack of relationship intensity. People arre more distrustful. EVERYONE has been successfully painted as a double-lifed prostitute or scam artist or a drug dealer or drug abuser. And we have fallen for the bait sadly. Its getting harder to trust people who you innstely see as having ulterior motives or criminalistic empire desires. And also friendships that are physically intimate and that involve hugging , kissing on the cheeck, holding hands , etc… are just straight up rarer these days. And this isleading to an increase in touch starvation. I hearin some parts of the East lile China, India , etc… it is normal to just hold your friends’ hand on a walk. Friends should not be shamed for holding a friends’ hand or for holding each other or for havingculturally significant , and intimate customs or greetings. I hear in Italy it is common to kiss your friends on the cheek , thats literally why isaish thomas and magic johnson started doing that when they faced off against each other lol. There is nothing wrong with that.
We are humans. We NEED friendships. We NEED vulnerability that wont be exploited. We typically suffer from touch starvation after a long enougb time has passed… .
NEVER let anyome make you hate yourself for your genetics or make you hate yourself , or hate your friends even, for you being a human.
having sex (perhaps just once?) doesn’t equal not lonely, though.
In fact sex being used as the indicator is actually a clue to one of the largest contributors. There’s a very wide reaching assumption that men should get most of their emotional support from their female partner. This is often very stressful to the female partner and is a fragile way to meet a basic need; if she gets sick or dies he’s probably not far behind her. Men need to learn how to compliment and hug each other platonically. It’s 2026 and it’s for their own good ffs. I keep giving my male patients brochures for men’s support groups and I really hope at least some of them are actually going.
It seems so surreal to me that other men don’t hug each other, or tell their friends that they love them
Sometimes I lightly punch my friends in the balls to thank them for being vulnerable around me.
No, I’m pretty sure that every man who has had sex at least once in their life turned out to be a top bloke
Or bottom bloke
But can’t top blokes be lonely?
They say it’s lonely at the top, bloke.
So… more men as bottoms?
That is why most men actually prefer to be on the bottom. Less lonely.
Its best when she’s on top is all Im sayn 🤷🏿♂️
(I wouldnt know though as Im a virgin)
There is a capitalist alienation epidemic.
TIL that the opposite of loneliness is having had sex
There is no male loneliness epidemic; there is a loneliness epidemic. They have been talking about it since at least 2020 and it predates the pandemic. Anyone calling it a male loneliness epidemic is absolutely engagement farming. The entire manosphere is a rage-bait-engagement-farming scam.
it is particularly male though because studies show older men don’t have friends
no men have friends.
and women have friends, but hate all of them and talk about how awful they are.
which once is better off?
i mean the multiple studies concluded women and that men need t o allowed to share emotions in American society
studies tell us obesity is bad for us.
and we keep getting fatter.
almost as if people don’t listen to studies, and act on impulse and emotion…
There’s a general loneliness epidemic, but there’s a difference between men and women.
If only I knew earlier that the males are all suffering with virginity. I could be out there solving this thing one by one (I’m gay).
Sex, relationships, and loneliness are all distinct domains. There’s important overlap to be sure. But they are not the same things. You can be a casanova and still be lonely. You can be stuck in a bad marriage and feel very lonely indeed.
I think a lot of modern people (regardless of gender identity) have problems making and keeping friends, too. Long-term friendships take work, sacrifice, and compromise. It’s not just compatible interests and personalities.
Eh idk, my experience with the “male loneliness epidemic” is:
It’s not just about “sex” (which it seems like that’s all EVERYONE can focus on, so I get it,) but also about deeper meaningful connections. Personally, I have a few FWB, I want to fall in love with someone again, though, tbf, the part of me that had the ability to do that could also be dead, kinda hard to tell tbh.
It’s also about (again, for me) the fact that increasingly it seems that the ONLY places acceptable to meet a woman you have not yet talked to are:
A) Online dating services that sell your data, are designed not to give good matches because they want you to stay on the app, and charge a fee for the apps to even be useful, and they’re all owned by one company.
B) The bar. That’s it.
Well, as for A, I value my privacy, and don’t enjoy paying money to have horrible experiences. I run GrapheneOS idek if tindr would run. I don’t even have social media, I can’t stand writing my own bio and don’t take selfies, it’s not a good option for anyone but doubly so for me. Also I’m not Tom Cruise (or whoever you’re horny for just sub them in) level attractive and as such I have to rely on my personality, which isn’t really text and picture based. As for B, I do still drink but not like I used to, and even if I did I can’t afford to go out as much as I used to in this fucked economy, and tbh meeting drunk women doesn’t seem like a good idea anymore, feels like it opens me up to problems I don’t fucking need tbh.
So where does that leave me? Well, common advice is to:
“Have your friends set you up with someone.” Ok great. None of them have any single friends, at least none that have expressed interest in being set up with me, or that I am interested in myself. So, either “pray,” or I could actively make new friends just for the express purpose of finding out if they have hot friends that want me, if not, move to the next friend I can find and try again? Sounds like a bad plan to me. I don’t have the social battery for all that honestly.
“Go to the gym,” you mean the place women complain about being hit on the most? Sure, that’ll help, “idfk how to use this giant machine and I know you just watched me look like a giant idiot, and I know you hate being asked here, but I saw you from across the yoga mat and thought you had a cool vibe, wanna go out some time?” That’s setting yourself up for success right there lol.
“Find a hobby,” yes because when I’m not at work or sleeping I simply stand and stare at a wall. OF COURSE I have hobbies, but not only do “women want to enjoy their hobbies without being approached” also my hobby is hiking local trails and taking pics of (mundane to you but to me,) neat animals like salamanders and snakes. Idk if you guys are aware of this, but women would rather meet a literal bear in the woods than a nerd with a camera, I used to talk to people on the trails but now I just give them a wide berth (unless they’re dudes, dudes are chill). Also like the library, but I’m the only one under 70 (well, and above 18, lots of parents with kids but that doesn’t help me lol), other than the cute librarian I have a crush on (but you’re not supposed to ask them out while they’re working either, and also if she says no it’ll now be awkward every time I go cause I’ll feel like a creep, so she’ll never know).
The real solutions seem to be we need a third place that is acceptable to meet someone and ask them out politely and take no for an answer, or women would need to start asking men they like if it’s unacceptable the other way around, or I need to become gay because as I said earlier guys are chill, you can talk to them anywhere. Unfortunately we’re actively killing third places and the ones still alive women complain about being approached, women so rarely ask a guy out and I don’t think it’s becoming more common, and afaik I was born unlucky on the gayness.
And I mean, am I “lonely?” Idk. I have friends, FWBs, kitties, I’ve had abusive relationships worse than loneliness, so “no” I guess, but also yes insofar as “I haven’t felt real love in about 15 years and it’d be pretty cool to feel that for someone again,” and I’ll guaranteed never find it if I don’t start doing the secret solution: Just say fuck it, fuck you, and fuck what is socially acceptable, just start asking out ANY woman I see/like ANYWHERE, politely and take no for an answer of course, but anywhere. At my job, at her job, at the gym, in Aisle 10, on the trails, fuck it. If I don’t it seems my only option is to pray to a god I’ve never believed in that a lady falls in front of me like goddamn Rufus in Dogma and she happens to like me, and I happen to like her lmao.
You need to find a trail hiking group. You don’t need to change hobbies it sounds like. Try organizing a hike in your area and invite people to come along if you can’t find any. You’ll meet people quickly doing that.
Genuinely though the bar is at the floor for guys right now. If you are well groomed, friendly, and genuinely interested in learning about the specific woman you’re talking to then that alone would bump you up a lot of your potential matches. If you’re walking anywhere and the other person looks like they’re not trying to ignore your existence then you have better chances.
Try going shopping on the weekend; lots of woman are more willing to talk in stores and such when they’re not stressed out from work. If they hold eye contact with you in a friendly way then try saying hi and just chatting to get to know them a little and what they’re out and about for.
I’m down, but where? That whole “not doing social media” thing means no Facebook, where all those local hiking groups would be organizing, or where I’d have to post if I were the organizer (and organizing a meeting then trying to meet a woman there feels sketchy, anyway).
Genuinely though the bar is at the floor for guys right now. If you are well groomed, friendly, and genuinely interested in learning about the specific woman you’re talking to then that alone would bump you up a lot of your potential matches.
Yeah honestly that isn’t my issue, once I get my foot in the door I’m good, but all the doors are locked and I can’t find my pick, the issue is starting that conversation to begin with.
Try going shopping on the weekend; lots of woman are more willing to talk in stores and such when they’re not stressed out from work. If they hold eye contact with you in a friendly way then try saying hi and just chatting to get to know them a little and what they’re out and about for.
Fair enough, this is basically a more succinct and less explicit version of my final conclusion lol. That’s kinda the plan, but most women I talk to (irl or online) seem to indicate that is socially unacceptable now too.
Which actually probably helps the bar being on the floor btw, all the guys afraid of making women uncomfortable and being creepy are not approaching them because they complained and we listened, now the only guys approaching women in public are the ones who don’t care about creeping them out, because they didn’t listen. I’m not saying that’s the whole problem but it has to be some %.
There might be public postings already out there listed at a local community college, community center, or city website for public events near you. If you post a meet up, do so with the intent of just bringing people to together and having fun, doing so with just intent of meeting women should come second. If you meet people that you vibe with then for sure invite them to more hikes or other shared activities.
Hosting Partifuls could help a lot to get things off the ground as well. My friend does those all of the time even for the most mundane things and lots of friends and acquaintances will show up and bring friends along.
For getting your foot in the door, it’s a lot of putting yourself in the right spaces to meet people. If you don’t have an issue actually connecting, then that’s a great start. I’d advise trying friend finding apps too since the pressure is offloaded on those compared to strictly dating apps. Lots of women want to find guys they could at least be friends with first before committing to dating. You remove a lot of the barriers of pressure when meeting up doesn’t have to be a date, but can be if you both are connecting.
Fair enough, this is basically a more succinct and less explicit version of my final conclusion lol. That’s kinda the plan, but most women I talk to (irl or online) seem to indicate that is socially unacceptable now too.
I feel where you go matters, what time you go matters, and not forcing the interaction matters for this. If you go to a woman dominated space and are confident and cool headed about it, just that and being dressed the part for being there could have you being checked out by women. Probably less a bookstore, more a ‘healthy’ lunch spot or outdoor/indoor mall. After their first coffee and before lunch? You’re golden. Specifically during/after lunch? Golden. After dinner? Generally fine.
Which actually probably helps the bar being on the floor btw, all the guys afraid of making women uncomfortable and being creepy are not approaching them because they complained and we listened, now the only guys approaching women in public are the ones who don’t care about creeping them out, because they didn’t listen. I’m not saying that’s the whole problem but it has to be some %.
You gotta believe and know that you’re coming with pure intentions; if you get caught up in the anxiety of not trying to look weird/creepy it’ll just come off that way instead imo. Out in the world, woman are way more chill than online makes women out to be. There are certainly a number of women that are reasonably wary, due to weirdos with no respect boundaries, but if you look, act, and are friendly then you definitely will meet woman that have been looking for someone like that.
You also gotta pre-emptively accept the possibility that youll NEVER meet friends or a partner who wants to be associated with you despite your best efforts. It is a possibility and there is nothing wrong with you if that happens to you and youre a kind, quiet , peaceful person. It is what it is
Human-Human relationships are sort of an ‘It Is Whatt It Is’ Type Of Affair these days. You can do everything kindly and to your best efforts to meet other like-minded people …and everyone can still not want to be your friend or lover. You can be worst than Adolph Shiter or Suharto and be surrounded with a million admirers and fake friends. It is what it is.
'Sadly it is what it is BUT At least you tried ’ is how I see it nowadays. 🤷🏿♂️
Best of wishes to you and everyone else who is lonely out here. Best of wishes on the journey comrade.🫂🫡
all the guys afraid of making women uncomfortable and being creepy are not approaching them because they complained and we listened, now the only guys approaching women in public are the ones who don’t care about creeping them out, because they didn’t listen.
Absolutely correct. I’ve been pointing this out for years and people gaslight me about it and act like I’m the problem for calling attention to it, but it absolutely is a real phenomenon.
this is complete nonsense. generic internet advice that ‘seems plausible’ but if you go into the real world you’ll quickly realize what bullshit it is.
What’s nonsense about it? Let me know what specific parts of what I said that are nonsense to you? I took the time to write out a thoughtful reply to the other person, you can do the same here.
Let’s see you share some helpful advice that’s actually constructive and optimistic rather than judgmental. You offered no substance in your response but just sought to tear down what I contributed to the discussion.
It’s easy to criticize, it’s a lot more effort to actually engage with the discussion and offer alternatives. Like a normal dialogue functions.
because you think it’s the 1950s, your advice is boomer level ‘go to a their office and shake their hand and you will get a job’.
No, that’s not how anything works in 2020s. They will call the cops on you and ask you to leave.
My advice would be to give up and enjoy life because dating and mating is systematically fucked due to social media addiction. And the numbers around it mean you have a < 10% chance of someone who isn’t social media brain-fucked, and all the stats on the issue are insane and unreasonable and that’s why everyone is so unhappy.
Not my job to fix anyone else, nor my job to work like a dog to ‘appeal’ to people who expect the ‘average’ guy to by over 6’ and make 2x median wage. Let them be miserable. I’d rather be alone and invest in myself and be happy, which I have been doing for 8 years and it’s fucking awesome. Image spending your money on shit you enjoy rather than spending it on dating where it goes down a blackhole of someone else’s insatiable greed and self-imposed misery?
But you can’t convince horny young dudes that getting laid will solve all their problems, and more than you can convince single women that a rich handsome guy will solve all theirs. They have to make the choice themselves to be happy now rather than endlessly daydreaming about some ideal future that won’t ever come.
because you think it’s the 1950s, your advice is boomer level ‘go to a their office and shake their hand and you will get a job’.
Some things change, some things remain the same. In person interactions haven’t changed that much.
Also, my advice was tailored specific to the person I was talking to. He said he did hiking, my advice went off the fact he has no problem going out in public places already as a hobby. That’s huge compared to many people online that will say they go out, but really just go to work, the gym, do grocery pick-up, and go home and get surprised when they don’t meet women when their day to day doesn’t even put them near anyone.
No, that’s not how anything works in 2020s. They will call the cops on you and ask you to leave.
Making eye contact with someone in the grocery store will get the cops called on you? That’s not gonna happen in a hiking group like in the example I first gave. Really though, no one is calling the cops on you for making eye contact. Staring at people? Yeah that’s weird. But mutual eye contact isn’t staring.
Women are much more friendly than you’re giving them credit for here. If you’re anxious or nervous around a woman, and she personally struggles with anxiety or nervousness then you will trigger that in her. I know this because I was anxious and nervous since about not coming across as weird, which just made the woman I interacted with uncomfortable since I was not comfortable around them. It clicked for me that I was the problem when I encountered a few women that didn’t have those anxiety issues but I still did.
So if you can work on your anxiety revolving around being around women, then that makes it significantly easier to interact with them. To need to know that you have good intentions and trust that they will see that, because the ones you would want to know will see that.
My advice would be to give up and enjoy life because dating and mating is systematically fucked due to social media addiction. And the numbers around it mean you have a < 10% chance of someone who isn’t social media brain-fucked, and all the stats on the issue are insane and unreasonable and that’s why everyone is so unhappy.
I would venture to say the amount of people that are not terminally on/affect by social media is significantly higher than 10% of people. I would put that number closer to 40%. Depending on the area you live it could be higher or lower, time of day depending as well. If you genuinely go walking around your local town you’ll notice a lot of people that are not just holed up all day absorbing the rot of social media that seeks to prey on our emotions.
Not my job to fix anyone else
It’s not. But is it your job to shoot down actionable advice without offering an alternative then? Let them try and fail or succeed.
nor my job to work like a dog to ‘appeal’ to people who expect the ‘average’ guy to by over 6’ and make 2x median wage
Height and wages do not matter when it comes to finding your ideal partner. Would you want to be with someone that thinks less of you for your height or how much you make? You probably wouldn’t, therefore those kinds of people were never a good match for you and they did you a service by filtering themselves out of your dating pool.
You don’t need to be a certain height or making a certain amount of money to be attractive to your ideal matches. Your ideal matches would like you at your height whatever it is and for whatever you make. That might not be a ton of people, but if it’s even 1% of the population that could be an ideal match, then that’s could be as many as 100 people in a town of 10,000. So, you just need to encounter just one of these 100 people near you. The real odds may be much higher than 1% as well, maybe 5-10% of the local population could be a great match for instance. Therefore, your best bet is to be out in a space where you could encounter one of these ideal matches.
Let them be miserable. I’d rather be alone and invest in myself and be happy, which I have been doing for 8 years and it’s fucking awesome. Image spending your money on shit you enjoy rather than spending it on dating where it goes down a blackhole of someone else’s insatiable greed and self-imposed misery?
Who’s to say they’ll be miserable? They could find an ideal match and live their happily ever after. That’s great that you are happy as you are, but not everyone would want to follow the same path as you. I think more guys should put themselves in a space to be their best selves when they are dating, as their struggles will not be automatically fixed just by being in a relationship.
Why would a guy not be enjoying himself while on a date? That doesn’t sound like a waste of money to me. Maybe if it’s a date where there’s no connection, but at that point you’re just paying for the nice meal that you had.
You can choose to date people with tempered wants. I don’t think there’s an inherent issue with dreaming for better, so long as neither of you are constantly dipping into debt to have a lifestyle that’s unaffordable. I’m not sure where self-imposed misery is coming from here, unless you mean that the other person has not been worked through issues of their own. I think most wants are normal; both men and women can succumb to greed though as with any vice if not tempered.
But you can’t convince horny young dudes that getting laid will solve all their problems, and more than you can convince single women that a rich handsome guy will solve all theirs. They have to make the choice themselves to be happy now rather than endlessly daydreaming about some ideal future that won’t ever come.
Treating people as a means to an end, rather than an end in and of themselves is something that tempered souls will avoid. Happiness is something that isn’t entirely dependent on others, but can be amplified by them. Rather than daydreaming, people should be working on themselves to be in a space that gives others room to enter.
If they hold eye contact with you in a friendly way then try saying hi and just chatting to get to know them a little and what they’re out and about for.
written by somebody who has absolutely zero real-life experience. if you do that, women will say that you can’t just let people “be nice” and have to take everything up as a flirting opportunity.
written by somebody who has absolutely zero real-life experience.
Make up whatever reality suits you about me man.
if you do that, women will say that you can’t just let people “be nice” and have to take everything up as a flirting opportunity.
You don’t have to flirt with everyone making eye contact with you. Intention is what matters, intending just to flirt doesn’t usually come across as you being genuinely interested in them as an individual.
If someone holds eye contact with you in a friendly way in a store, saying hi to them will probably make them feel better more often than not. Asking them about why they’re out and about gives them room to talk and choose if they want to carry a conversation with you. If they want to keep the conversation going, they certainly might and possibly even bounce it back by asking what’s got you out and about.
You have to remember body language matters a lot for in person conversations as well. So if they’re looking at their phone or looking around like they want out of the conversation then definitely take that as a sign to let it go. Tempered body language of your own can convey a lot on its own as well. Such as not coming across as too desperate for their attention.
that is so well-written it deserves a place on my disk.
yeah, that’s precisely how it is. effectively you can’t date women today. i’ve given up. i’m bi so i have other options but damn is the situation not good for anyone straight today.
You can have sex and be a totally toxic bastard that people don’t want to be around once they get to know you. You could have sex frequently but still be deeply lonely.
Agreed. It’s dangerous to conflate emotional intimacy and sex - they aren’t the same thing and pretending they are is part of what got us into this mess imo.
Soo in my group of friends and former classmates the situation is really bad.
Now we were a group of gamers. That didnt help to meet girls LOL. Also early porn consumption. I guess as early as 16 might have had an effect. The guys who dont have obvious flaws but get no women were into mangas early on.
My advice would be skip the porn and the fapping. Select hobbies that give you chances to meet women.
I agree with the hobbies, but I think you can probably still jack off.
As if married men or men who have had sex at least once can’t be lonely. “You got your dick wet 20 years ago, what’s the problem?!”
Dudes don’t have friends. That’s the epidemic.
Dudes make friends with each other so damn easy it’s a meme for a reason.
Like women have to simultaneously live in a world where you call us all catty bitches who compete with each order but also you all have no fucking friends and can’t make any and boohoo. Pick a fucking lane!
It’s a fool who believes that the circumstantial “friends” you make because you happen to be in the same place at the same time are true, ride or die, listen to your problems, give good advice friends.
The former you can make practically anywhere you go, like you said, it’s a meme. The latter are tough, maybe a couple in your whole life kind of encounters. The former will fill a room and you won’t be alone, the latter will take up one seat and you won’t feel lonely. Quantity vs quality.
Exactly.
The problem is quality not quantity.
If you meet and bang a trillion people off of tinder (and ya I get it there are not 1 trillion humans) but you never emotionally connect with ANY of them there is NO WAY IN HELLLLL you have a better quality of life than a random person who met one person on tinder, completely connectef with that one person from tinder emotionally, and spent the rest of their life with that one tinder partner.
Any human who isnt a deranged megalomaniac would trade an infinite number of acquaintances, associates, and fake friends for one random stranger they met in a public washroom who is way older than them but who understannds and connects with their beliefs and their liifestyle completely.
This is why billionaires and politically connected jerks tend to have so many ‘associates’ , they know a gal that knows a couple guys that can ‘take care of business’ or ‘take out a target’ for you or them, and rarely do they ever have that small , quiet group of true friends.
trump is probably the most powerful man on the planet thanks to his nuclear arsenal…how many true friends do you think he has based on the people youve seen him meet over the years?..
