• gastroglizzy@piefed.socialEnglish
    43·
    3 days ago

    If I can’t ask where the value is added, how else am I supposed to politely ask, “what’s the fucking point of this bullshit?”

    If I can’t say “it is what it is” how else am I supposed to politely tell someone, “I don’t give a fuck.”?

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
      17·
      3 days ago

      Business speak is just a polite wrapper around needing to be rude.

      “Let’s table this” - shut up, your point is irrelevant

      “We’ll circle back” - I want to end this stupid meeting but unfortunately we’ll have to talk about it again later.

      “We have to synergize” - If you two teams don’t start playing nice together, I’m going to sell the whole company.

      • gastroglizzy@piefed.socialEnglish
        12·
        3 days ago

        “Let’s continue this discussion offline.” - It would be rude of me to call you an idiot in front of this many people.

        “Is there any progress on this item?” - You forgot about this, didn’t you?

        “What are your blockers?” - What the fuck is taking so long?

        “My calendar is project-heavy right now. / I don’t have the bandwidth for that.” - I don’t have time for that bullshit.

        “Yeah, I think I’m beginning to understand the issue…” - … and the issue is that you’re a fucking idiot.

        “Your concerns have been noted. / Thank you for sharing your opinion.” - Fuck you. I don’t give a fuck. Shut the fuck up.

        “This is off to a great start!” - This fucking sucks. This better not be finished.

        “I’m going to direct you to [person] on that issue.” - Take it up with them, I don’t give a fuck.

        “Looks good to me!” - I didn’t read that shit.

        I’ve been in corporate too long.

    • k0e3@lemmy.ca
      3·
      3 days ago

      I agree. I like the comic but it would work better if they were more buzzword-y.

  • Cris_Citrus (he/him <3)@piefed.zipEnglish
    151·
    3 days ago

    “It is what it is” was such a part of my dad’s lexicon when I was a kid I really didn’t realize its a business speech cliché.

    Like now I say it regularly and I’ve never fucking had a corporate job lol 😅

    (He was a project manager at IBM for like 30+ years. So… Checks out)

  • sem@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    3·
    3 days ago

    I don’t get it. Is there a pun in here somewhere or is it just supposed to be funny because they died?

    • Sundray@lemmus.orgOPEnglish
      3·
      3 days ago

      The premise is merely absurd. While many people find corporate jargon annoying, getting crushed for saying it is an unexpected, ridiculously disproportionate response. The contrast between the crime and the punishment is intended to be humorous.