The calendar should be 13 4-week months that always end on Sunday.

The leftover day should be considered a worldwide holiday.

Any time there is a leap year situation, all that time gets added to this one day, like the injury time at the end of a soccer/football match.

Sex.

Did they get a fucking union or something? It’s cheaper to get married and divorced.

Yeah I’m sure it’s an elder care issue and not the fact that she was a miserable asshole her entire life.

Nothing is ever anyone’s fault.

The Sopranos

Except for the ending. I hated the ending so much that I’ve learned to write screenplays so I could write a mob show with a better ending.

Well, the neighbor might not accept a gift from you…but will he accept a small token and a card from the cat?

If his personality fits that vibe, then that’s what I would do: Make a thank you card from the cat, signed and everything. Go all out with construction paper and crayons, possibly make it multiple pages if not a small pamphlet. (Cats are very thorough)

The time spent will show him your intended appreciation.

Then if you still want to get a gift to go with it (totally valid, i would!) you will want to get him some nice version of something he loves: bottle of booze, some fancy chocolates, whatever. Stalk his social media or ask his partner if he has one, to get ideas of what he’s in to.