• zaphod@sopuli.xyz
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    3 months ago

    When Anon breaks up with her they will claim he was a demon sent to test their faith.

  • VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz
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    3 months ago

    There’s only one way: Anon should simulate fainting like the mom and then explain that god told them they have to break up.

    • VitoRobles@lemmy.today
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      3 months ago

      Nothing pisses religious nutjobs more than telling them that God spoke to you and said you were holier than they are.

    • frog@feddit.uk
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      3 months ago

      Speak it in Latin and claim you don’t know what Latin even is. Then use Google Translate like some time later and tell her.

      If she ask any questions just say the usual, “God works in mysterious ways”, “maybe this is a test from God like in the book of Job”, or “are you questioning my faith or yours?”

  • ferrule@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    Oddly, the two super churchy women I’ve “been with” ended up leaving the church afterwards. Maybe OP should do a little 🫰🤌🤏 to her 🍑 and see what happens.

  • imetators@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 months ago

    Fake/gay analysis: true and straight. Source: dated religious girl who’s mother was a religious lunatic. Super fucking likely to happen

  • ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca
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    3 months ago

    “Listen, your mon had a heatstroke. This isn’t a demonic attack. It’s common knowledge that this happens when doing hard work in extreme heat. I can’t be with someone who’s family believes that demons are behind common medical conditions. In other words: your family is insane and I can’t date you anymore. Bye”

  • Mulligrubs@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    This is not unusual in my opinion. In my childhood, I attended Catholic, Baptist, and Assembly of God churches, and this would not have raised any eyebrows. Especially with Assembly of God.

    If the people only knew what they are supporting with their tax dollars (in USA, churches pay no taxes)! It’s obscene and frankly ridiculous. The farther you go in the church, the crazier things are.

    And make no mistake, they will kill you. The best part of adulthood for me was getting out of the church, as a kid I was horrified every day with these absolute lunatics.

  • chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    As someone who grew up in a conservative, Baptist home, I can tell you that this 100% isn’t the most insane thing I’ve heard or seen, but it falls right in line.

    • bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      Insane how grown ass adults believe in absolute fairy tales written by the rich/kings to keep the lower classes subservient. In 2026.

      I’d love to ask someone in the 1940s what they’d think of 2026. I bet they’d think we were all living on other planets and half cyborg by now. But nah. Trillionaires.

  • Sharkticon@lemmy.zip
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    3 months ago

    I was once invited to a pool party by a girl back when I was a freshman at college. When I got there they were baptizing people.

    There was free food though so I stuck around.

    • Knightfox@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Freshmen year of college is all about maximizing the amount of free stuff you can get, especially food.

  • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I’d probably talk to the girl and see if she holds the same beliefs. She’s Christian, yes, but there are plenty of people raised in such families that use the term out of familiarity, but don’t share the extreme views of their parents.

    Though with that said, even if the girl isn’t off the deep end, I’d understand that having her parents as potential in-laws could be a bridge too far.

  • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Everyone is going with the satanism or whatever non-Christian antics they are coming up with.

    That’s too easy.

    Study some Bible verses and understand the tenents of the religion. Learn enough about the family to find something you can use. Then break up with her by saying her family are heretics and state that reason. Tell her they’re all going to hell and close the door tight. Never talk to her again.

  • Mikina@programming.dev
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    3 months ago

    I remember playing this 3 day LARP, the kind with pre-written in-depth characters and story that is played over 3 days strait in characeter, in Wierd Wild West setting, where I played a Trapper that was about to marry someone from the local village, my family was married into but my parents died shortly after.

    It eventually turned out that the whole village is a cult that eats people to keep some kind of evil imprisoned, and my fiance’s family is the one spiritually leading it, and I still can’t forget the nights spent trying to reasonably argue and discuss with my fiance that it’s definitely not ok and we should just leave.

    I obviously never had to have discussions like this in real life, but it was pretty interesting how extremely futile it is. They have so many arguments you can’t say anything against. Once they start with “But this is our purpose given to us by God, if we don’t do this the whole world will end”, or “It was God’s will, you will understand soon”, you really don’t have much to say to that to get through.

    Of course, it was just a LARP and she played her character well, but now I can pretty vividly imagine that talking to someone who’s so much into anything like that is extremely difficult, to the point of being futile.

    (I managed to convince her to leave, the winning argument was “Your grandmother tried to poison me, here is proof”, lol).