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If you’re anxious. just relax.
If you’re depressed, just cheer up.
You’re so generous giving out advice like that for free.
Wait until you hear their advice to poor people it’ll blow your mind
Just get Guillotines?
You just have to eat them all, easy.
Do you have advice for porcelain dolls and spoiled princes too?
It will
blowchop off your mind.(For the sake of consistency)
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.
True story.
Someone literally said this to me once about depression. “That’s what I did and it worked for me, so if you’re still depressed it’s because you’re choosing to be.”
I almost chose to Jazz-yeet him out of the house.
Anyway, it turned out the main reason for my depression was that I had been surrounded by toxic assholes for too long. Things vastly improved when I chose to change that so I guess it did work in a roundabout way.
If you’ve broken your leg, just walk it off.
For more psychology you have to pay me 1000 bucks
“Stop being depressed.”
I got so tired of this “advice” back when I still thought talking to others about my problems could be fruitful…
It’s sound advice and if someone can’t incorporate it into their lives, they need to see a psychiatrist for medication. The psychologist will send you to one if they think you can’t get there with out meds.
Psychotherapy shouldn’t be about “getting advice”. It’s about finding the “knots” deep down in your psycho-emotional structure which are causing your problems. But maybe I am just too much of a psychoanalysis fanboy.
Have anxiety? Try having fun instead!
Cool.
Big “just stop being sad” energy
“Have you tried just not having anxiety?”
I have a very hard time reframing things - it always feels like i am lying to myself, and therefor it doesn’t work. Anyone else here having that issue too?
Have you tried reframing things for fun?
It’s fun all the way down.
Yeah, we’re having fun for fun.
Instructions unclear; now reframing my house.
Lie to yourself for a bit, I suspect it’s like muscle, the more you do it the better you get at it. That’s kind of what positive affirmations are, you keep telling yourself certain things (within reason…) and it is supposed to steer your subconscious.
I have quite some issues with lying if it doesn’t involve little white lies to smoothen over social situations. Anything “bigger” is a no-go for me.
Make talking to yourself a social interaction. It’s a little white lie to smoothen out making an appointment. It’s just to be considerate to the other you. You wouldn’t want to be rude, would you?
Push back on that. Ask yourself if you’re really lying.
I kinda get where you’re coming from. I had a similar problem. I found it difficult to “Fake it 'til you make it”, but I did find it easier to abstract it one layer. It just made sense in my head to fake faking it until I could fake making it because that’s just pretending to lie. It still just makes sense to me.
I have a very hard time reframing things
Because you are not supposed to. Emotions exist one layer of abstraction lower than consciousness, hence frontal lobe can’t override them manually. It’s evolutionary safety measure
Then why can the first time you go skydiving be pants shittingly terrifying but the 50th time can be pleasurable or even mundane? Your rational mind is deliberately choosing to make the first jump despite the fear and thereby taking control over the emotion.
The reaction that you conscious mind interprets as emotion occurs at a lower level than consciousness, but you absolutely can override that interpretation, so scary can become exciting, fear can become motivation, or you can decide to just override it completely. It’s not necessarily easy, but it is possible.
But then what to do?
I struggle with this too. My therapist is trying to help me with some aspects of it, usually trying to use a past accomplishment and applying it to what I currently have massive anxiety about. Doesn’t always work cause my brain treats that past accomplishment as a mistake or something I shouldn’t have gotten.
Could you create similar circunstances without the pressure? Say apply for jobs you dont care about so you are familiar with theprocess and experience of interviews.
So I’ve tried to this and it doesn’t work.
I tried going to work for fun, but it wasn’t and I suspect that if I leave early that won’t be fun either.
this is why psychiatrists are useless most of the time–they’ve never experienced what you’re going through.
‘just have fun’ lol.
the entire reason you have anxiety is that you’re incapable of achieving that mindset. it takes A LOT of work to undo all those crossed wires.
this advice is like dumb shit in a hollywood movie, like when good will hunting is cured because he gets a hug and someone tells him that ‘it’s not your fault.’
I think it is unironically very funny that you used a toxic positivity Instagram post from “mr.psychologist” (not even a doctor, mind you) as evidence that psychiatrists (also not psychologists) are useless. Psychiatrists are the people who just diagnose your disorders and their role in treatment is largely oriented around referrals or pharmacology.
Psychotherapists, which is what I reckon you mean, are in fact quite skilled at building up that “mindset,” through empathy and practice, but they of course have to actually be psychotherapists for it to work. Yes, it is a lot of work. Many people seek out psychoyherapy and arrive at a social worker/counsellor that is trained more to keep you from killing yourself than mending long-term pathological patterns or psychological disorders.
I feel like this comment indicates a need to seek out a psychotherapist if you have the means to do so, it is worth it if you give it a shot.
I have a suspicion I would not be taking this blood pressure medication if my anxiety didn’t spike whenever I go to the doctor
What kind of freaking sociopath would go on a job interview for fun?
If I was independently wealthy and didn’t need a job, I still wouldn’t go to a job interview for fun.
A Circus clown?
Companies often do job interviews “for fun”, since they already have a candidate and you have no chance from the beginning.
One time, in the days before covid, I had an audition that I had to drive 4 hours to get to. I was scheduled at the end of the day, and I could tell that they had already made up their mind, and that they were just using this particular audition to have fun and fuck with me.
All I could do was make sure they didn’t have fun. Long ass drive home, though
Its the HR special… Bonus points if that “candidate” is an AI agent.
Uhm, I actually did that just recently. Earlier this year my current employer decided to close my department until end of year so I had to start looking for a new job but without a very strict deadline. I applied for a job but didn’t think I’d be invited for an interview. I DID get invited, went to the interview with the attitude “Ah, let’s see, I don’t think, they’ll hire me, but it is a fun learning experience”. They didn’t hire me but gave me the feedback that I was a good candidate overall but it showed that I wasn’t prepared at all and that I should apply later this year because they would open more positions. They did open more positions, I applied again, did a Hospitation, prepared properly and actually got the job in the end.
Not with that attitude! /s
I know a lot of people in the comments don’t like this. And they’re perfectly valid. One solution doesn’t work for everyone and it misses a lot of nuance.
That being said, I actually did something like this for my social anxiety, which was damn near debilitating. I had to constantly remind myself that none of what I’m doing is risky or dangerous. Im just gonna roll with the punches. And if I do something that I might cringe about later, fuck it. Do i really care about what strangers think? And if the people I do know are of any value, they won’t chastize me for being a bit odd. So just own it.
This took years to get through. I basically brute forced myself through the social interactions until the anxiety was nowhere near as strong. I still have it, but my job forces me to talk to new people all the time. It got manageable. Maybe something like that could work for someone else.
This is not medical advice, and I strongly suggest you talk with a therapist if you have these issues. I was just too poor to do anything else about it.
What you’re describing sounds like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) which is one of the best-known evidence-based methods for dealing with mental health problems.
And yeah as someone else who it worked for, it is really easy to treat it as “well thanks I’m cured” until you put in the long effort
CBT always seemed to me like the opposite of easy. It looks like a lot of hard work, and it is.
I will second this. After college I realized I needed to expand my social circle. I agonized for weeks about even asking to join a few local Meetup groups. Eventually I did, and I convinced myself to go to a few events. I started framing social outings as exercise. It wasn’t always fun, but I usually felt good about making myself go.
I still get anxious about social stuff. I still loath job interviews. I don’t like packed bars or events with thousands of people, but I can handle them better now. I can now give myself permission to fuck up a bit.
"Was that social encounter my best work? No.
Was I actually a jerk and everyone hates me now? Also no.
Cool then. A ‘C+’ is still passing!"
“What’s the worse that can happen (socially)?” is now a helpful question. “What if strangers think I’m weird?” IDK, then they do. That’s their problem. And if they remain strangers then I probably won’t need to deal with them again. If they think I’m weird and they still invite me back then at least my weirdness was within acceptable limits. And that’s how I met my wife :)
People get really upset when suggestions on mental health aren’t immediate solutions.
People also get upset when things are presented as obvious or universal solutions
This is presented as an immediate solution.
I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to find out why my legs have been weak and unsteady. For fun.
Am I… am I doing this right? Did I cure anxiety yet?
You’re doing it! You’re doing it!
thanks, i’m cured.
Yeah this shit is why I rely on chemical help instead of paying these kranks.
nah a shift in perspective is how you truly heal, chemical help makes you reliant. it’s important to start with it so you can rest from constant anxiety, but it’s not going to fix you, you fix you
and what that guy is saying is a valid method of dealing with anxiety that has allowed me to heal step by step
Well put. I understand dismissing the OP as being just another “just be happy” post, but I’ve learned from experience that even a slight change in perspective and mindset can make a world of difference. Will it make all your problems go away? Nope. Can it equip you to manage your problems a little better? Absolutely. Therapy exists for a reason.
Oh no, using a chemical to fix a chemical imbalance makes you reliant. I’m already reliant on a bunch of pharmaceuticals, why is it only ones for mental health that are so maligned? It’s not a fucking „strength of will“ thing and people like you are why I suffered for decades thinking it was just a matter of mindset.
I wish I knew. I spoke to my brother about this a while ago, and told him I’d never gone to a doctor because I always thought it was a “strength of will” thing. He told me that was insane. First thing he did was get to a doctor and get prescribed. The thought never crossed my mind.
Similarly I was watching some show with my partner and this guy in the show talks derisively to he daughter: “I bought you your anti-di-pressants, what more do you want?” And he’s stressing the word, like he believes it’s some kinda party drug. I think that mentality is a very real thing and hits other areas like birth control too. “I didn’t have this for ME and thus I resent you taking the easy way out!” seems to be the thought process.
dang, you didn’t even get halfway through what i wrote, that’s all i’ll reply with as i can’t be bothered to answer to an argument i already adressed
It was barely two paragraphs, it wasn’t that hard
and yet, they clocked out after the first sentence
… No, it just wasn’t the “whoa” moment that you thought it was
reading comprehension online is sad
That’s because you’re giving dangerous advice full of pop science platitudes. What exactly do you think you’re „healing“?
And from a perspective of “this worked for me, it must work for everybody else, anybody who doesn’t try this is a fool”
i literally replied to someone who presented their opinion of psychologists being useless and “just give me meds” with my opposing opinion of “actually a change in perspective worked for me”. why are you ignoring that guy’s “this worked for me, it must work for everybody else, and anybody who doesn’t try this is a full” huh?
Because they were saying “this one way approach didn’t work for me” and they didn’t like it being presented as it was. And they described their approach as what worked for them. They never said that their approach worked for everybody.
You said “you fix you”, while they were saying they couldn’t and needed external help. You seem to have a problem with reading comprehension yourself
pop science? my guy, why do you think psychologists exist? to be prescription dispensers? the most common way people get better is by first using meds to ease their chemical imbalance, and then also attending therapy or otherwise working on themselves so they don’t have to use meds
and you’re healing your bloody psyche. why do you want to be on meds for the rest of your life so much?
Be enthusiastic about not starving to death.
How are you not starving in this economy?
With enthusiasm.
This doesn’t work for an introvert with social anxiety. I have no problem with job interviews, but an invitation to join people for an outing, where the point is to “have fun”? I’d still have to put in the mental and emotional effort to participate in such a group activity. I find it draining.
If I didn’t spend that energy every day to work, I’d have more of it for fun things in my time off. But the way things are, I only get two days of the week to not have to put that effort in, to recharge my social battery. I cherish those days. No worrying about how others might misinterpret a comment, no monitoring my tone of voice, no masking to pretend I’m having fun when I’m not. I can do what I want without anybody else caring. It’s freeing. It’s hard for social engagements to compete with that.
Thanks! I’m cured!
“If you’ve got anxiety, try not having anxiety!”
