They do that knowing you’re not going to listen to them anyways typically.
I figured you were being economical to match the slave wages in this market.
My parents taught me not to do those things either but I did all of them. Even became an alcoholic which I denied until my 40’s, not ideal, parents aren’t wrong, teenage you will do what ever
Having been with my wife since high school, the amount of time between “no fooling around” to “where are my grandchildren” was shockingly short.
Usually those two things are a day apart. The statement has always been: don’t do shit that might get you kids out of wed-lock.
Once you are married, that obviously is no longer an issue.
Is the difference in time between, them having to feed and clothe you and the time at which you’ll be able to feed and clothe your own child.
I want to have grandchildren, but they don’t want to pay for them and raise them.
No fun, only missionary for the purpose of procreation… with the lights off.
should’ve speed run it and knocked her up at 16
My parents: cmon, why won’t you have a beer with us?
Also my parents when I grab a second beer later that night: Jesus fucking Christ you’re an alcoholic
Yeah, sorry mom and dad, you guys aren’t going to be able to keep up with me.
It took me a while but eventually you will break free from the shackles that are your parents. You are your own person and you don’t have base your reality on what your parents told you as a kid.
are you sure about that?
People these days seem to loathe being independent adults. The amount of co-dependency on parents I see in 30 something adults is fucking mind-blowing.
It’s because they can’t afford to get out from under them, or at least can’t do that AND have a decent quality of life. I know a number of people in their 30s who are still living with their parents or are only free of them because they inherited enough to set themselves up in a house. It’s rough out there. Otherwise they are fully functional adults.
Copypaste lol (it just fits really well here too):
Yeah. Also, someone has to take care of these older people. Like, putting myself as an example, my mom is in his 60s, and has plenty of aches and pains, suffers from spine, carpal tunnel, hip problems, hypotension, stomach sensitivity and can be depressive. My heart would break if I just abandoned her for the sake of “independency”. That’s not independency, that’s being a fucking asshole.
That’s true as well several of those I mentioned are getting into the situation where they’re having to care for their parents more and more.
That’s typically an economic issue, not a personhood issue. Not that it’s a bad thing to share housing between generations, it should be normalized as it was not long ago.
For us we have three generations under one roof because it works. Everyone pitches in, and having a grandparent around for occasional childcare is a godsend. Eventually we will be the carers as they get into advanced age. There was a period of learning to let go of individual cultural hangups, but we all got over it in our own time.
The idea of every couple having their own individual single-family home, kicking kids out the moment they turn 18, and letting grandma either fend for herself or go into a nursing home (which will swallow any inheritance that exists) is not just cruel, it’s completely unsustainable.
Yeah. Also, someone has to take care of these older people. Like, putting myself as an example, my mom is in his 60s, and has plenty of aches and pains, suffers from spine, carpal tunnel, hip problems, hypotension, stomach sensitivity and can be depressive. My heart would break if I just abandoned her for the sake of “independency”. That’s not independency, that’s being a fucking asshole.
Yeah, that’s why that’s a career for many people. Because most of us don’t have the ability or skills to do that, so we pay someone who does to do it.
Why would I subject my mother to my shitty care, when I can pay a professional who has trained and worked with elder care their entire life who is really really good at it, and therefore she has a WAY higher quality of life in that home, than she’d ever have with me? She’s be utterly fucking miserable living with me and me with her. I also literally don’t have the time to be changing her diapers 6x a day, because I have a full time job and other responsibilities.
But right, anyone who treats their parents well by giving them excellent elder care from a professional is a fucking asshole, right. Why not force her to sit in her own shit 10 hours a day while I’m at my job.
Hi, I’m just saying sorry for having to take care of a parent. It’s a lot of work and something many of us have to face someday.
Yeah, but they need way more than fucking physical cares, and still you can fucking hire a proffesional in caregiving to assist her in the house, without having to let her fucking alone.
Psychological cares greatly involves having a sane relationship with your cared ones, and that means fucking keeping them company and not send them anywhere else like they’re fucking trouble to get rid of.
Plus, you’re still talking from the priviledge that you can simply hire someone. Someone of us just can’t do it because we barely can buy food, and we are the fucking majority of the world population.
So yeah, you’re a motherfucking asshole.
So yeah, you’re a motherfucking asshole.
Seems that way, doesn’t it? They want me to send my parents to a care home that provides way way shittier care than we can (I’ve seen it firsthand). Oh and they steal the inheritance. Oh, and I’m the loser for finding a living situation that serves everyone in it
oh, sorry do you have a professional nursing license? can you administer drugs, do physical therapy, do psych evals, and all that on top of feeding and wiping up parents asses for them because they are regressing to infanthood?
so amazing of you, they must be proud with your multiple professional medical accolades.
Based
And you’re some dude who rages at people online because you hate your life?
maybe you should take that rage and turn it into something productive my dude. self-pity isn’t a productive activity and your indulgence in it only make your life worse, and your moms. maybe work out, volunteer, etc. you have enough money apparently to have an active internet connection? dunno where you live but where I live a ISP fee can easily be $100+ and that’s enough food for one person for a few weeks.
call it privileged all you want. as far as I’m concerned I busted my ass my entire life and now I get to chill and enjoy the fruits and comfort of my hard-labor that many of my peers refused to engaged in. and i’m laughing it all up.
you could also have spend your time raging here on applying for jobs, or getting job counseling or million other things to improve your life. but it’s your choice to not do that. crash out online all you want i guess.
???
You have zero reading comprehension. You don’t even try to understand a damn word I say, you just use damn fallacies, like the ad hominem you just threw at me, and you talk about it? Above you use the classic straw man fallacy, attacking the fact that although I am poor I have the internet because you know that my argument is correct. Pathetic.
I am from Venezuela, where the minimum wage is between $0.17 and $0.25. The Minimum Comprehensive Indexed Income, as the corrupt narco-government of my shitty country calls it, is $240, basically composed of bonuses they give to those they like. $740 is the basic basket. If in my house we pay for internet, it is because it is suicide not to have it: work, studies, banking, procedures, everything is digitalized. On top of that, I study Computer Engineering and work as a music producer. Guess what? Two of the industries most affected by AI. I hardly see any offers, even if my work is good, because people prefer to pay an AI company that steals my data and my creations (and those of billions of people like me). For all this, not only do I earn much less than $100 a month, but I am lucky to get a job every six months. Right now I’ve been out of work even longer than that, even though I search and search. I have the right then to want to shut up damned bastards like you, who are better off dead, that would do a huge good to the world.
Why not force her to sit in her own shit 10 hours a day while I’m at my job.
She has the same ability to get up out of her shit and improve her situation that her kids did at 18, depending on upbringing.
A lot of these sorts of discussions seem to center around an implicit social contract that people don’t realize they’re agreeing to on a minute by minute basis. It sort of works like a pension where the company goes bankrupt. Now everyone who was depending on it starts from scratch and all the investment (time, karma) is gone.
https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons/
what the fuck are you talking about? elders require care because they can’t care for themselves. they regress into infancy as they age and their body/mind deteriorates. my mother had dementia and was nothing more than drolling infant before she died and she lived in taht state for over a year. and the facility she was in was full of people in various states of failing health that required professional care.
80 year olds can’t improve their situation, they are slowly dying.
elders require care because they can’t care for themselves. they regress into infancy as they age and their body/mind deteriorates
This isn’t true of all old people.
what the fuck are you talking about?
Age alone can’t be used as the only determining factor for having the capability for independence at either end of the age spectrum.
I’m talking about emotional and financial co-dependency, like people who can afford to live on their own, who don’t choose to do so because they are unable to leave the nest because they don’t know how to function without their parent taking care of them.
Normalizing dependency is not a good thing. There is a reason ‘living in your parents basement’ is an insult, and it’s not because of the economics of it. It’s because it shows a lack of ability to grow and mature and have a functional adult life. If you are still seeking parental approval and living off the bank of mom and dad you’re not a functional dult.
Nobody cares if a 22 year old is living at home while they sort out their first job and pay down their loans. But if you’re doing that at 35+ and you have no plans to move out for the rest of your life, that’s entirely different.
I actually think this whole concept of independence is pretty bad for society. Americans are so isolated. I get people have shit families but we often have shit families because of this concept of independence being so important.
We have 0 sense of community in America and it stems from the me, me, me, my independence stuff.
Cool. I don’t. I fucking love being independent and most independent people I know love it too. The most unhappy people I meet and have known were those who were co-dependent on their families, even if they were living alone, because they never developed emotional of fiscal dependence and a self of autonomy and self-actualization…
I don’t have a lack of a sense of community at all. But I go outside of my house and do fun shit at least 2-3 times a week. I don’t sit around on the internet complaining about how awful the world is and how awful my life is… weird how that works! Weird how being an independent self-actualizing adult is a really positive thing that makes life happy… and the alternative makes life miserable.
Almost as if you want to feel good about yourself you should… go outside and participate in life. Not sit around doom scrolling on a device in an online spaces in a cycle of self-pity and rage punctuated by bouts of feeling moral superior to other folks who don’t share in your politics or lifestyle choices
Dunno why you’re so aggro about it but okay. Nobody cares what you do and nobody is saying you don’t do them. Relax.
There is a difference between independent, in a community and codependent. It isn’t just codependent and independent.
You seem pretty angry though so maybe you should step back and think about why you’re so mad at others saying independence isn’t the greatest thing since slice bread lol
I suppose I’d have to disagree with that last statement, as someone who lives in a functioning multi-generational household lol. It’s not going to work for everyone every time, depending on circumstances, but having 3 generations in the house pooling resources is how most of the world does it.
It certainly helps to have a separate space/entrance for privacy and such, but now that we’re settled in, it’s far better than it was when we were going it alone. We have everything covered between the 3 adults, and then some: I work, cover utilities, build stuff, cook repair and maintain everything that needs repair and maintenance. The wife stays at home with our toddler. Her mom covers the mortgage and occasionally babysits when we need it. The occasional family friend who needs a place to crash for a while contributes their bit. We make adjustments here and there to keep everyone happy and maintain fairness. Everyone wins in this arrangement, and there’s no shame.
Your example is kind of an extreme trope IMO, I’ve only seen true “failure to launch” scenarios in media. I’m sure they exist somewhere, but it’s not too big an issue to be moralizing about.
Glad it works for you, for other folks, like myself, it would be a waking nightmare to live that way. Not everyone gets along with their family. For some people, being away from family is the only way they can be healthy and happy. For many people their families are nothing but a burden on them and a drain on their well-being. Not everyone has the luck of having family that is supportive and cooperative. Some of us come from families where our parents actively tried to fuck us over and fucked themselves over and we spend our entire life trying to get out of the self-imposed misery.
Further, again I"m not talking about multi-generational households by free choice or other cultural practices. I’m talking about people who are dependents, like they can’t function without their parents money or approval, and often are in toxic and abusive relationships with each other, where both parties would be better w/o the dependency.
You don’t understand anything. Your IQ must be fucking in negative numbers.
The fucking problem is that social mobility is a fucking myth, we’re not all in the fucking privilege bubble you live in, and we’re the majority.
You think finding a job is that easy? Even worse with the AI boom. And even if you find a job, it’s more likely to be a bad-paid shit job where you spend more going to your place of work than you get paid in wages. Then there is the issue that house prices are increasingly going up while wages are not only stagnating, but falling.
Social mobility is not a myth dude. But keep telling yourself that if makes you feel better about your life.
It’s true that many folks refuse to break the cycle of their misery. I’ve seen that countless times my entire life. Grew up in a shitty poor community full of people who fucked themselves over repeatedly, and well, I decided not to be like those people and my life got a lot better. And plenty of rich people out there actively choose to be miserable their entire lives. Money isn’t really the issue, so much as the cycle of shitty self-destructive choices and the refusal to change your life.
No, finding a job isn’t easy, but it’s also much harder when you have a shitty low-effort attitude. I hire people at my company. Most people who apply shoot themselves in the foot because they don’t know how to make themselves a appealing candidate.
Yeah well, that’s why you better get a job where your wages increase, shouldn’t you? Also why you should be saving and investing, and not blowing your money on short term bullshit like so many ‘poor’ people do.
Weird how many people I meet who are 35 and ‘broke’ who spend their entire life spending more than they made… funny how that works.
“Dad, can I go to a party with my friends?”
“You gonna drink?”
“No.”
“Do drugs?”
“No.”
“Have sex?”
“No.”
“Then why the fuck do you wanna go to a party?”
“New Mario Kart game just dropped”
“Cool. Tell me if it’s worth picking up a copy”
Why do people seem unable to comprehend just enjoying being around friends?
And no, this isn’t a dig on introverts. It’s a dig on the older generations that seem to hate their spouses and can’t be around other people while sober
Why do people seem unable to comprehend just enjoying being around friends?
Drinking, in particular, is a proven way to relieve anxiety around strangers. So, when you’re at a party with people you don’t know, and you don’t want to feel nervous about it, you drink a beer or do a shot or whatever. Being in a crowded room, talking to people you don’t know, maybe even singing and dancing with them all come more easily after that. Liquor is often described as a “social lubricant” for this reason.
Harder drugs can be even more potent.
The sex kinda follows logically from there. Especially when it’s a room full of young, good looking, horny people.
There’s a certain type who thinks it’s a big adult flex to act exhausted by work, being annoyed with their family, and getting drunk to drown their self-inflicted sorrows. They’ve always been pathetic. I think (hope) it’s a dinosaur that’s slowly going extinct.
What’s the point of partying if not to poison your brain and infect your genitals.
This is why we invented condoms.
The other two are a lot more difficult to do without damage or risk
There are plenty of fun substances with a fraction of the risk presented by alcohol
This is why we invented condoms.
Doesnt do much when half the population doesnt know how to put one on due to failed sex ed.
Sounds like a shit party
Yeah, pisses me off they made me waste my young years thinking this. If only we could reset. Oh well, I still got time.
My parent is also raised me to avoid alcohol, partying, and sex. Which is why I moved out at 17 and started living on my own terms. And I will absolutely never respect anyone who stays at home for money when their parents impose rules on them. If you’re an adult and your parents still phrase things in the imperative when they speak to you, you’re not actually an adult.
I abstain from alcohol and tabaco, but sex is just too nice to abstain from.
